for Deer Skull2/14/2010 c1 
16SarahMerriman
Wonderful imagery. This piece is very descriptive, but I think it would be even better if you added in a couple more of the five senses. I caught touch and sight in there, but unless I missed some that was it. I just finished a writing competition for description a few months ago, so this could just be me thinking of the guidlines :P . Anyway, I really like what you did here. I have a soft spot for descriptive pieces. Keep writing.
16SarahMerrimanWonderful imagery. This piece is very descriptive, but I think it would be even better if you added in a couple more of the five senses. I caught touch and sight in there, but unless I missed some that was it. I just finished a writing competition for description a few months ago, so this could just be me thinking of the guidlines :P . Anyway, I really like what you did here. I have a soft spot for descriptive pieces. Keep writing.
1/11/2010 c1 Isca
"That makes me lose my foothold amidst the tussocks of frozen grass. There are bird tracks." I adore the subtle internal rhyming between "grass" and "tracks" here. Your use of the word "tussocks" is also quite noteworthy.
"There is nothing regal about this world of silence." Hmm. Personally, I'd have to disagree. I think this world is most regal when it's silent. Despite that, however, I do think that this is a very striking and thought-provoking line.
"There is a brown leaf in one of the eye sockets." Interesting image.
"That makes me lose my foothold amidst the tussocks of frozen grass. There are bird tracks." I adore the subtle internal rhyming between "grass" and "tracks" here. Your use of the word "tussocks" is also quite noteworthy.
"There is nothing regal about this world of silence." Hmm. Personally, I'd have to disagree. I think this world is most regal when it's silent. Despite that, however, I do think that this is a very striking and thought-provoking line.
"There is a brown leaf in one of the eye sockets." Interesting image.
1/7/2010 c1 151take me somewhere nice
Hm...I'm not quite sure what to say.
I'll be honest with you, and I hope you take no offense, but, I came into this poem expecting "dur hur deers. i likez them."
Instead, I was surprising greeted with a warm, if not swiftly harsh swirling of words so delicately crafted together to create a conundrum of bitter lament and a quietly haunting requiem.
At least, to me, I propose that you were wishing safe passage to the animal that lost its life in the world of unforgiving white.
I'm probably wrong, but, we can interpret poetry anyway we like, eh?
It was a pleasure reading this piece.
151take me somewhere niceHm...I'm not quite sure what to say.
I'll be honest with you, and I hope you take no offense, but, I came into this poem expecting "dur hur deers. i likez them."
Instead, I was surprising greeted with a warm, if not swiftly harsh swirling of words so delicately crafted together to create a conundrum of bitter lament and a quietly haunting requiem.
At least, to me, I propose that you were wishing safe passage to the animal that lost its life in the world of unforgiving white.
I'm probably wrong, but, we can interpret poetry anyway we like, eh?
It was a pleasure reading this piece.