Just In
for Elements Pt 1

2/28/2010 c3 7Snacia
Nice. Once again, there's that strange plothole where they is advanced technology in a realm that still rules with monarchies and uses horses for transport, but the characters are coming along nicely. The conversations are nice, but some things seem a bit strange. I think it would be easier for Zain to have the teachers give the students the tickets rather than hand them out personally (less of a chance for him to miss/overlook people)not to mention the fact that, by giving them tickets, he is, more or less, making attendance optional. Sure he's a prince, but what if people have appointments they can't move around? I really do enjoy your story and I apologize if I have in any way insulted you.
1/28/2010 c3 2Tim-.-0
Hey, the plot is progressing well

What I dont get though, is what time period this takes place in.

Like are there swords and horses, or guns , etc
1/28/2010 c2 Tim-.-0
Chapter two was a beautifully wrought at the first one. Three major characters, cant wait :D
1/28/2010 c1 Tim-.-0
Hey :D

This was pretty cool :D

I cant wait to read the rest
1/11/2010 c1 1KNRamz
sweet story, buddy! i cant wait for more! keep it up! ^.^
1/11/2010 c2 7Snacia
It's nice to see new characters, but I'm not quite sure as of yet how Zain and Katie's personalities are different... I guess I just need to see them in more (for lack of better word) scenes. I'm also a bit confused on timeframe. If they still have monarchies and use horses as transportation, how can they have cameras? Or is it just their world's equivilant? In other news, I'm looking for bombs. Not sure juat why, but I want to see abomb somewhere (maybe an assassination attempt on Zain? That would be rather ironic (the assassin almost being assassinated... I'm gonna have to find a way to stick that into one of my own stories))
1/9/2010 c1 SENP
1/7/2010 c1 Snacia
Not bad. I'm not quite sure what to think of the story yet, but I like what you have so far; though to be honest there are some things that don't seem quite right. Unless Zain was being trained as an assassin, wouldn't it be better to train him in another weapon? Throwing knives/daggers wouldn't pierce armor or thick cloth very easily... On another note, I don't really see how you could throw three knives right at someones face to leave three parallel scars that wouldn't kill them... Clarification please? Sorry to pick holes into your story, I really am interested in your story but plot holes really bug me. Which is strange as I can't seem to find any in my own writing though I know they're here oh well. Update soon!

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