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1/8/2010 c1 45deefective
The beginning was a little sloppy but after about the fifth line you picked it up and kept it going. Even so, the imagery of the vase was a nice touch. You did a good job with the ending as well, it fit perfectly. I also liked the rhythm to this but I think you should have used line breaks instead of starting each verse on a different paragraph. Other than that, nicely done.

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