for Just Smile and Nod8/2/2014 c12 Guest
Amazing story but the part where he's asking for her help kind of reminds me of a murderer asking someone to help him
Amazing story but the part where he's asking for her help kind of reminds me of a murderer asking someone to help him
8/1/2014 c12 A
Every chapter I read I think wow this chapter is dark. But this one is especially dark. Hayden seems scary .
Every chapter I read I think wow this chapter is dark. But this one is especially dark. Hayden seems scary .
8/1/2014 c12 
69Shadowswept
Cool way to work the title into the story! I have to get up early and I should already be asleep, but I saw you posted this and had to read it. Once again, not at all what I expected. I really love the scene where he was standing there watching her. Great tension in that and when he approached her. I'm so curious to know what Hayden is planning to have her do. Have to sleep and think more on this chapter. I'll be back to do a more thorough review. Thanks for posting even when your life's hectic and keeping your readers happy!
69ShadowsweptCool way to work the title into the story! I have to get up early and I should already be asleep, but I saw you posted this and had to read it. Once again, not at all what I expected. I really love the scene where he was standing there watching her. Great tension in that and when he approached her. I'm so curious to know what Hayden is planning to have her do. Have to sleep and think more on this chapter. I'll be back to do a more thorough review. Thanks for posting even when your life's hectic and keeping your readers happy!
7/30/2014 c11 Samantha
I love your story! What I don't understand is if people happen to not like it then why do they still read it? And, why do they tell you to pratically change the whole thing? I mean if I don't like a story I won't leave a review or anything. I just won't read it anymore. But, I guess I'm a nice person so... Anyway, I love your story and I don't want you to change anything in it. Please update again soon.
I love your story! What I don't understand is if people happen to not like it then why do they still read it? And, why do they tell you to pratically change the whole thing? I mean if I don't like a story I won't leave a review or anything. I just won't read it anymore. But, I guess I'm a nice person so... Anyway, I love your story and I don't want you to change anything in it. Please update again soon.
7/27/2014 c11 Shadowswept
I had to log out so I could review again. I really can't stop thinking about this story, not only about what's going to happen but what has happened already. I love the mystery of it, that you haven't shown us and explained everything. It's fun to try to imagine what Hayden thought and felt when he opened her journal, especially when he saw her drawings of him. I also wonder if he noticed it before she forgot it, and if he's ever been curious about what she was always doing in it. Of course, I hope we will eventually find all this out, but I love the pace of your story and the intriguing way things are unfolding. I think I've told you before that it's very exciting. Okay, I will leave you in peace now so you can continue to write this brilliant story.
One more thing. This is the closest modern story I've found to a gothic romance. Those were always my favorite. Their plots were predictable though, but yours is definitely not. The dark antihero is so difficult to write, and I admire your skill. Most of us can't convey the right tone and personality to give him that sharp edge.
I had to log out so I could review again. I really can't stop thinking about this story, not only about what's going to happen but what has happened already. I love the mystery of it, that you haven't shown us and explained everything. It's fun to try to imagine what Hayden thought and felt when he opened her journal, especially when he saw her drawings of him. I also wonder if he noticed it before she forgot it, and if he's ever been curious about what she was always doing in it. Of course, I hope we will eventually find all this out, but I love the pace of your story and the intriguing way things are unfolding. I think I've told you before that it's very exciting. Okay, I will leave you in peace now so you can continue to write this brilliant story.
One more thing. This is the closest modern story I've found to a gothic romance. Those were always my favorite. Their plots were predictable though, but yours is definitely not. The dark antihero is so difficult to write, and I admire your skill. Most of us can't convey the right tone and personality to give him that sharp edge.
7/25/2014 c11 Shadowswept
Wow, what century are these people living in? Not all girls are feminine and delicate. I'm surprised people still have this attitude, because Alien with the awesome Ripley came out a long time ago. I'm so happy that you're not going to cater to these people. Please don't change your story or your character for anyone. Anything this unique is rare and precious. Words cannot convey how much I love this story. I can only dream of writing something so raw and powerful.
Okay, this is the chapter I've been waiting for. Oh my goodness, you couldn't have written it in a more perfect way! The end gave me chills with how exciting and suspenseful it was. I still have no idea where they'll go from here, and that's part of what makes this story so different. It's not the same old cliche, although those can be fun. They just aren't as memorable as unique stories like this. That's why you shouldn't dumb it down for anyone. Discerning readers will find you.
I did not see that twist with Mr. Jackson coming, but I still hate him and want him to suffer. I wasn't expecting Karri's dad to be so harsh and unforgiving. Yet as the story unfolds, all the characters are reacting in ways that seem natural for their personalities. Nothing so far seems contrived or forced, and that's why the story is real and raw. It's as messy and awkward as real life, because real life doesn't flow straight from point A to point B. Alys is so isolated and upset right now, and now she has to deal with Hayden too. There is so much turmoil now, and I feel that scared kind of excitement that makes you queasy. You continue to do great work on this story to be able to elicit such heightened reactions from your readers.
Wow, what century are these people living in? Not all girls are feminine and delicate. I'm surprised people still have this attitude, because Alien with the awesome Ripley came out a long time ago. I'm so happy that you're not going to cater to these people. Please don't change your story or your character for anyone. Anything this unique is rare and precious. Words cannot convey how much I love this story. I can only dream of writing something so raw and powerful.
Okay, this is the chapter I've been waiting for. Oh my goodness, you couldn't have written it in a more perfect way! The end gave me chills with how exciting and suspenseful it was. I still have no idea where they'll go from here, and that's part of what makes this story so different. It's not the same old cliche, although those can be fun. They just aren't as memorable as unique stories like this. That's why you shouldn't dumb it down for anyone. Discerning readers will find you.
I did not see that twist with Mr. Jackson coming, but I still hate him and want him to suffer. I wasn't expecting Karri's dad to be so harsh and unforgiving. Yet as the story unfolds, all the characters are reacting in ways that seem natural for their personalities. Nothing so far seems contrived or forced, and that's why the story is real and raw. It's as messy and awkward as real life, because real life doesn't flow straight from point A to point B. Alys is so isolated and upset right now, and now she has to deal with Hayden too. There is so much turmoil now, and I feel that scared kind of excitement that makes you queasy. You continue to do great work on this story to be able to elicit such heightened reactions from your readers.
7/25/2014 c11 SprintingPanda
Finally he finds the book! I has so much suspense when he would actually find the book.
Finally he finds the book! I has so much suspense when he would actually find the book.
7/25/2014 c11 glacies
I love your story so much. I can relate to Alys on so many levels. In my opinion she is so real, you can feel her and her pain. Your writing is amazing, your able to draw people in and make them wonder. To the people who don't like Alys as a character must not enjoy real people :P. I understand some people believe characters should be a certain way but I love Alys because she's so real.
You do have a few spelling errors here and there. For me words can't describe how much I love this story.
I love your story so much. I can relate to Alys on so many levels. In my opinion she is so real, you can feel her and her pain. Your writing is amazing, your able to draw people in and make them wonder. To the people who don't like Alys as a character must not enjoy real people :P. I understand some people believe characters should be a certain way but I love Alys because she's so real.
You do have a few spelling errors here and there. For me words can't describe how much I love this story.
7/25/2014 c11 A
I absolutely cannot wait for the next chapter. The moment has finally arrived ! Omg this one of the best stories here. I wished this was a published book so I could read it all without waiting. Because I can barel6 contain myself. Alys is so original. I love how she's hasn't broken character even into chapter 11. She didn't just change from 0 to 30 like in some stories. I want to see her sketchbook! Man I can't believe its 11 chapters. There's still so much things to clear up.
And to those people who thought you should cjnage their story , they should go take a hike. This one is an original. Perhaps your summary sounds a little like sunshine and daisies. :P
And wow the whole thing escalated quickly ! There are so many things happening wow !
I absolutely cannot wait for the next chapter. The moment has finally arrived ! Omg this one of the best stories here. I wished this was a published book so I could read it all without waiting. Because I can barel6 contain myself. Alys is so original. I love how she's hasn't broken character even into chapter 11. She didn't just change from 0 to 30 like in some stories. I want to see her sketchbook! Man I can't believe its 11 chapters. There's still so much things to clear up.
And to those people who thought you should cjnage their story , they should go take a hike. This one is an original. Perhaps your summary sounds a little like sunshine and daisies. :P
And wow the whole thing escalated quickly ! There are so many things happening wow !
7/25/2014 c11 1Ink Scribble
Okay, first of all, you need to know that I almost died when I realized that was the end of the chapter. Then I promptly went back and read this story through again, because it has been awhile since I first stumbled across it. Now I'm sitting here wondering if it's okay to to just keep refreshing the the page every few minutes until whenever it is you will update. And,a I mean, I would love for that to be very soon but I really I have no right to talk. Plus, I can imagine it must take a lot of work to write something this mind-numbingly awesome.
I really admire the unique writing style you have (hehe, I may have read all your other multi-chapter works). It's vivid, and has a dark, kind of whimsical feel to it. Which is my absolute favourite, and I can only dream of being able to write something with so much depth, and intrigue. Plus I really love your characters and how they think, and their human flaws. It makes my brain go into overdrive. Like, how do you even come up with this stuff? You must be a genius. No questions asked. I've never even read anything like this, and it's pretty rare to find something so solely individualistic.
Anyway, good job. That's a bit of an understatement, but then there aren't enough adjectives in the dictionary to explain how much I adore this. I'm dying of anticipation, so keep up the brilliant work.
1Ink ScribbleOkay, first of all, you need to know that I almost died when I realized that was the end of the chapter. Then I promptly went back and read this story through again, because it has been awhile since I first stumbled across it. Now I'm sitting here wondering if it's okay to to just keep refreshing the the page every few minutes until whenever it is you will update. And,a I mean, I would love for that to be very soon but I really I have no right to talk. Plus, I can imagine it must take a lot of work to write something this mind-numbingly awesome.
I really admire the unique writing style you have (hehe, I may have read all your other multi-chapter works). It's vivid, and has a dark, kind of whimsical feel to it. Which is my absolute favourite, and I can only dream of being able to write something with so much depth, and intrigue. Plus I really love your characters and how they think, and their human flaws. It makes my brain go into overdrive. Like, how do you even come up with this stuff? You must be a genius. No questions asked. I've never even read anything like this, and it's pretty rare to find something so solely individualistic.
Anyway, good job. That's a bit of an understatement, but then there aren't enough adjectives in the dictionary to explain how much I adore this. I'm dying of anticipation, so keep up the brilliant work.
7/25/2014 c11 Awestruck2Heaven
Wow, the main character is a lot like myself, minus the hate and the drawing. I carry a writing notebook everywhere, not a sketchbook. I like this book a whole lot.
Wow, the main character is a lot like myself, minus the hate and the drawing. I carry a writing notebook everywhere, not a sketchbook. I like this book a whole lot.
7/25/2014 c11 natsuki
omg I've been waiting for this moment for so long! I can't wait to see what happens in the next chapter!
And I think your story is amazing the way it is! It's so much more poetic and emotional than some of the other stories on here. (And honestly this is such a nice change from all the other stories that have the same character, just with a different name.)
omg I've been waiting for this moment for so long! I can't wait to see what happens in the next chapter!
And I think your story is amazing the way it is! It's so much more poetic and emotional than some of the other stories on here. (And honestly this is such a nice change from all the other stories that have the same character, just with a different name.)
7/25/2014 c11 Guest
Wow!
Btw I love Alys and I would never want you to change her!
Secondly awesome chapter! Cliffhanger! Nooo! please update soon!
Wow!
Btw I love Alys and I would never want you to change her!
Secondly awesome chapter! Cliffhanger! Nooo! please update soon!
7/25/2014 c11 Lady Morighan
I've been waiting for the moment when he finds the sketch book, hope we'll get to see the new chapter soon!
And don't ever change a thing about the story or characters, people like myself enjoy reading something different(t's annoying to see the same personality traits duplicated in every single story).
I've been waiting for the moment when he finds the sketch book, hope we'll get to see the new chapter soon!
And don't ever change a thing about the story or characters, people like myself enjoy reading something different(t's annoying to see the same personality traits duplicated in every single story).
7/25/2014 c11 2renegade01
So Hayden finally has her journal... I'm excited to see how he's going to react. Shame to see Karri transfer - also for some reason ch.12 doesn't seem to come up?
2renegade01So Hayden finally has her journal... I'm excited to see how he's going to react. Shame to see Karri transfer - also for some reason ch.12 doesn't seem to come up?