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8/7/2011 c1 L.Shan
I know it's been quite a while since you posted this, but I stumbled across it today and thought I'd leave a review!

The description in this chapter was well done - I found it painted the image in my head, definitely a good sign. The line "And for the first time in his life, Jake was the one who'd been hooked." fit in very well as a ending for that particular paragraph. Although I haven't seen much of him yet, I find myself liking Jake's character; I think it was the line about his fishing without the presence of water or fish that did it.

I'm curious as to what will happen next, and I hope you continue with this if you get the chance!

~L.Shan
9/1/2010 c1 natmarie
I love the the imagery of the fishing and then ironically meeting a girl fishing. It makes me think of that saying "there are plenty of fish in the sea". Everything seems so innocent in this one. Blissfully so. I like that. I also love the description and how you stack sentences and decide where to put line breaks. Wonderful. If you write more I definately will read more.
4/9/2010 c1 5blak pearl
Dude, Jake totally had me from the line- "there were times when he fished with no bait, no hook, and sometimes, he fished without even the presence of water, or of fish." Made me grin, and Jake sounds like a total cutie. I guess since you put this up in Jan it's been a while since you wrote it... but I'm defs keen to see where its going. Continue, please? :) Maybe it can be three sections? Like this chapter is hook. Next is line. Last is sinker? Haha, maybe that's what you were intending anyway? SO many questions, so little time.
3/3/2010 c1 Lopphey
Aww man you should update! This really has potential! Update whenever you can, because it seems like a really nice start to a story. I'm a fan :)
2/22/2010 c1 27Just Silly Me
Aw, it's just too bad you're not updating soon... but I think this is cute! I'll just put you on alert and hope you'll eventually remember this :). I love how the title already correlates to the actual story itself. Jake seems interesting so far, but I guess there could be a little more description of him... otherwise, it looks good to me! I really hope you do remember to update this :). -JSM

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