for Ankles5/16/2010 c1 Your Creative Writing Major
Hello, my dear. I've just found your little fiction press so I think I might raid your poetry.
Of course, wonderful title. "I challenge you to find a song with ankles in the lyrics!" Well you've gone and written a poem about it, haven't you? (I may have to write an ankles sestina)
All right, so I do like the italics, at first I thought it odd but they have a nice effect. In other cases, I would hate it. But this one you remain unscathed.
The taking you into the whirlwind and that entire first stanza may seem cliche to some and at first I was confused. From your description it seemed as though you weren't going to be writing as Ophelia, but now you are? Then i thought, maybe it's the italics? But the first set of italics had Ophelia's name in it so that just seemed wrong.
Moving on, the second stanza was the killer. I did not like ricochet. It did not fit. And the bolded italics made it even worse. It seems a bit too wordy and the chet sound didn't sound right. The rest of that stanza was absolutely gorgeous though. With the stripes and the petticoats, absolutely beautiful imagery.
The last stanza with all the questions was very effective. I feel like so many people try to really analyze Ophelia to the point where she's dying again and so that bit really spoke to me. It made me think of how so many peopole try to analyze her but they're just another person saying the same old stuff about the suicidal girl.
From the third to last verse down it was gorgeous. The ending was definitely satisfying. Especially how you had only one word in italics which contrasted with all of your other stanzas where there were multiple verses in italics.
Overall, gorgeous poem. Took a different view on ophelia which was very refreshing. I think I enjoyed this a bit too much. I may have to come home and do this after every workshop.
Hello, my dear. I've just found your little fiction press so I think I might raid your poetry.
Of course, wonderful title. "I challenge you to find a song with ankles in the lyrics!" Well you've gone and written a poem about it, haven't you? (I may have to write an ankles sestina)
All right, so I do like the italics, at first I thought it odd but they have a nice effect. In other cases, I would hate it. But this one you remain unscathed.
The taking you into the whirlwind and that entire first stanza may seem cliche to some and at first I was confused. From your description it seemed as though you weren't going to be writing as Ophelia, but now you are? Then i thought, maybe it's the italics? But the first set of italics had Ophelia's name in it so that just seemed wrong.
Moving on, the second stanza was the killer. I did not like ricochet. It did not fit. And the bolded italics made it even worse. It seems a bit too wordy and the chet sound didn't sound right. The rest of that stanza was absolutely gorgeous though. With the stripes and the petticoats, absolutely beautiful imagery.
The last stanza with all the questions was very effective. I feel like so many people try to really analyze Ophelia to the point where she's dying again and so that bit really spoke to me. It made me think of how so many peopole try to analyze her but they're just another person saying the same old stuff about the suicidal girl.
From the third to last verse down it was gorgeous. The ending was definitely satisfying. Especially how you had only one word in italics which contrasted with all of your other stanzas where there were multiple verses in italics.
Overall, gorgeous poem. Took a different view on ophelia which was very refreshing. I think I enjoyed this a bit too much. I may have to come home and do this after every workshop.
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