9/5/2011 c23 9rukz
Like how their relationship is progressing. Felt like it jumped scenes a little fast when she was talking to the bookshop owner and the next minute they sitting drinking shakes. I got that you mentioned them going for a milkshake and then their already sitting their.

What in saying is that at the beginning of the story of was very detailed but then after your break your style changed (which I understand, as I've attempted to write and it is very had to get of to flow or when you get stuck in a rut ) and now its more straight to the point and quite direct.

I think a slight more detail would be nice so we could picture the surroundings.

I was reading your A/N note to mailey. And people don't realised how hard it is to update or put scenes together until you do of yourself. So I'm slightly more patient now.

Hope my input helped.

9/5/2011 c7 moonlitbreeze
Wow. You had an awesome first chapter. It’s was definitely captivating…and because of that, it made me stay up late just to read the first seven chapters. I really really enjoyed reading this story and I hope you find time to finish writing this.

Kon.’s character is something that I can relate to (not the family history part) which makes this story more enjoyable to read. I find that I tend to ‘observe’ my surroundings more after seeing Kon.’s habit of people-observing and I find that really cool how she can categorize someone so easily. I also like the way you portray chris. I mean, what an awesome guy to have! He’s such a gentleman and Kon. Is definitely lucky to have him. :) I also find that your way of writing the transitions from past to present is effective and I applaud you for that. So I hope you enjoyed reading this post. :)

9/4/2011 c23 1ginger heart
Okay, after reading the author note in the end of this chapter I really, really tried to think of something to critique, but honestly, up until now I really haven't found anything. It's kind of weird actually, I think this story is seriously one of the very few ones I actually really enjoy reading without finding any awkwardness in the writing style.

Now, I guess there'll be something between Nate and Kon (well there already is, but you know what I mean), but I'm so glad, that you didn't have them falling in love at the first sight. Everything's so much more believable if their relationship grows slowly, like it has so far. And because both of their characters too.

And I'm really happy you updated. Probably one of the happiest things that could happen on a Sunday night before a long week of school (senior year, yay -.-). And take your time updating. If other readers are anything like me, then they'll just wait patiently for a next chapter to be posted.

Good luck in school (God, I can't wait to graduate in spring and then go to uni :3).

9/4/2011 c23 24xoxluurve
Hi there! New reader of yours as of yesterday night where I spent four hours in front of my lap top screen eating your words. Honestly I can say that your story has pulled me into so many different emotions those four hours (and this new chapter today had me beaming!). Before I start the review, you’ve heard about The Write Away on Livejournal, haven’t you? I know how hard it is to find critique on Fictionpress, mostly because people are lazy - and I definitely know that feeling - so they tend to just leave the ‘I loved it, update soon please!’ to show that they were there. Or, you know, others just leave and don’t bother to review at all. But TWA offers constructive criticism (gushing reviews also included) since it’s a requirement to stay in the community.

And if you know it, forget I ever said anything! (But it’s a good place to be if you want to improve your story/writing in general.)

Okay, so I have to say that the beginning flashback of your story reeled me in. That specific moment of Kon and Chris really gives you that expectation of a promising relationship, and I had to wonder what the story was about (and the typical generic plots fall into my mind: he cheated, she cheated, she moved away, he found someone else). And then everything was dashed when I read the rest of the chapter. Perfect way to introduce the current Kon. Admittedly Carol felt a little fake in the beginning and I didn’t get a good read on her until she confronted Shaun. I thought that she was merely a background character. Also, Jessica grew a lot on me as well, and she’s so normal in comparison to Kon that I seriously don’t know whether to see her as just a normal girl in Kon’s life, or if I should see her as her own person. (And I’m only thinking this about Jess because she’s frequent in the story a lot more than Max or Keaton.)

I love how you gave your side characters their own personalities. I can even relate to one. Also! I wanted to say that I thoroughly enjoyed the way you had Kon and Nate read everyone else. It’s discomfiting, and I people watch all the time and base their lives on what I see, but they’re so accurate. I have to wonder if there are people (“ordinary” not professionals) like that in the world!

Anyway, about Nate. Maybe it’s because we’re seeing him through Kon’s POV and she can’t read him, but I feel that he’s untouchable. Usually the reader can see outside the box, but I can’t feel any development on Nate’s end. He’s communicated with Kon, we’ve seen the way he handles various situations, but I’m still unable to relate to his situation/tragedy at home. I can definitely understand it, but that’s as far as I can feel. I would love to get into his head though. He’s pretty much a fly on the wall, and I have a feeling if we were seeing the story through, let’s say, Max’s point of view, they’d be the same (Kon and Nate I mean).

I do have to mention that your focus on Kon’s development rather than the romantic spin that’s predisposed with Nate is a brilliant direction. She’s still so very much in love with Chris, and their conversations at 11:11 just about broke my heart. (How did he die, by the way?) I should feel like you’re dragging through her process of moving on, but it’s a perfect pace, to my personal taste. I can see the subtle signs of her healing throughout the chapters.

The elements of your story (family, love, etc.) are handled well. I enjoyed reading about Kon and Shaun’s tentative but promising relationship. Tessah (?) and Bryce, I still don’t know whether or not to regard them as some sort of threat or a mere plot disturbance, haha! There are still so many unanswered questions (I.e. who’s Rebecca?), but I’m glad that you somehow introduced those three ‘friends/band mates’, because I feel like it’ll somehow help with her moving on. She’ll wrap up the past and start to live in the present (though that’s going to be hard considering she’s guarded as hell).

This is the part where I go on about your writing style, but I, personally, have no problem with it. You’re engaging and you have the right about the balance between description and dialogue. Sometimes I feel that Kon is monotonous and unfeeling, but I’ve attributed that to her personality. Plus, it’s original and genius with the way you’ve made them… psychologically inclined… concerning human behaviour. I look forward to your next chapter (in a few months!) and good luck with your second year of college!

xoxluurve

9/4/2011 c1 21rosieroo
Hey! So you already know that your story has been archived on A Drop of Romeo under the Miscellaneous category, but here's your official review!

Rosie Thinks: I am not joking when I say each chapter of this story is filled with as much drama as any Gossip Girl episode, with the occasional cat fight thrown in for good measure. The two main characters, Konstantine and Nate, are so ridiculously perceptive, and the story does seem to be about understanding people. Both their situations, from rich-private-school-boy to daughter-of-a-drug-addict-girl, are so different yet strangely parallel - both have been forced to understand the people and situations around them to a such a level that it's like they can read minds. The mystery of both their backgrounds keeps you on the edge of your seat for the entire story. Alora The Sleepy writes in that special, clear way so the story is like a movie in your head. In certain places, I could picture the characters facial expressions perfectly. Her writing provides raw emotion that you don't find everywhere and I actually found myself tearing up in places! She also hasn't rushed anything, which allows for much more depth and layers in the plot, plus allowing the story to unfold with one drama at a time. The chapters are a good length with, so far, no filler chapters or anything that seems like a waste of time. All the characters are great, with every one of them, including the parents, having a distinct personality and differing views. The dialogue is interesting and truly does sound like a bunch of teenagers, with language appropriate to their ages. The author's descriptions are beautiful, heart-wrenching, perceptive and consistent. The story is based around the song 'Konstantine', by Something Corporate, which I've now listened to and love. She integrates the song well without the story becoming corny. I'll start listening to the lyrics and suddenly realise that that part is in the story and I didn't even realise! This story is a definite must-read and I have absolutely no criticisms.

9/4/2011 c23 Martine
Sorry, I am writing this on my phone and it decided then was a good time to send...

Anyways, I was about to say, No reviews for a few months, eh? I'll be sure to check back every few weeks just in case you found some spare time, enough to grace us with with what is sure to be another incredible chapter! :) If you can't, no rush! College is stressful and takes up most of your time, I understand! I hope you have a successful second year and ace all of your classes =D

~ Sincerely Martine.

9/3/2011 c22 Stevie
Dearest Alora,

You never fail in making me feel as though I'm actually there, seeing everything happen before my eyes. I can't get over just how much I love all of your characters and how much they HURT me- but I don't care because I love them so much.

I especially liked the scene when Leslie realises what's going on between Max and Keaton. You've written it in such a believable way and I just... I can't even begin to describe how much I enjoy your writing.

Also, your description of Nate's laugh was lovely- I could basically hear it in my head :)

So yes... I love you, you talented thing, you!

x