for Chroma7/2/2010 c14 
2THis doesn't even exist
Okey dokey. So my first week of summer vacation and all that made this review a little late, sorry.
I have to say that one of my favorite characters in this story is now Dr. Sanders. I love the way that you wrote his character. An overly feminine gay character normally turns me off. I like them in person most of the time, but in stories, there is always something off about them, so i think that development of his personality is great.
He seems great, because not only is he just a nice guy, he really cares about Konstantine, and how she feels, which is hard to find. a lot of people in school administrations just pretend to listen, and you can tell. especially if you are Konstantine, so I'm glad you included someone that does care about people in there.
And! He is also the perfect mixture of a serious guy, and someone that can joke around. Just an overall great person. Someone that you can see, someone that you can relate to. When I read this story, he is one of the many characters that seems… Real.
Another thing that I love is that you can put so much thought into Konstantine, without taking away from the dialogue, which I find hard to do. Normally people either ignore dialogue, and only talk about what the MC is feeling/thinking or they ignore the feelings and focus on dialogue, but RARELY can they juggle both in a balanced and smooth way, which you seem to have figured out so far.
Nate’s drama with his father is a little suspenseful, but as Konstantine says, you can see what kind of man he is. You get the disgusting feeling across very well. I hate the fictional man already.
And then with Nate at the very end, it’s a little easy to assume that his father beat him, but I’m interested to see what you do with it next
:) Can’t wait for the next one
~Chelsey
2THis doesn't even existOkey dokey. So my first week of summer vacation and all that made this review a little late, sorry.
I have to say that one of my favorite characters in this story is now Dr. Sanders. I love the way that you wrote his character. An overly feminine gay character normally turns me off. I like them in person most of the time, but in stories, there is always something off about them, so i think that development of his personality is great.
He seems great, because not only is he just a nice guy, he really cares about Konstantine, and how she feels, which is hard to find. a lot of people in school administrations just pretend to listen, and you can tell. especially if you are Konstantine, so I'm glad you included someone that does care about people in there.
And! He is also the perfect mixture of a serious guy, and someone that can joke around. Just an overall great person. Someone that you can see, someone that you can relate to. When I read this story, he is one of the many characters that seems… Real.
Another thing that I love is that you can put so much thought into Konstantine, without taking away from the dialogue, which I find hard to do. Normally people either ignore dialogue, and only talk about what the MC is feeling/thinking or they ignore the feelings and focus on dialogue, but RARELY can they juggle both in a balanced and smooth way, which you seem to have figured out so far.
Nate’s drama with his father is a little suspenseful, but as Konstantine says, you can see what kind of man he is. You get the disgusting feeling across very well. I hate the fictional man already.
And then with Nate at the very end, it’s a little easy to assume that his father beat him, but I’m interested to see what you do with it next
:) Can’t wait for the next one
~Chelsey
7/2/2010 c14 1funnechick
That wasn't nice...that wasn't nice at all!
Okay, so I just started reading this story last night, and now I'm caught up to the present. So far, I've cried more than once and I do so feel emotionally invested into what happens with Konstantine. Though she and Nate do get on my nerves sometimes...they're constantly playing those mind games, saying things they don't mean, hiding what they really feel, and always trying to figure out everything and everybody. Sometimes I want to just scream at them: "Say what you mean and mean what you say. Just open up and stop trying to get into everybody else's minds when you won't even let them in yours!"
Alright, I'm done with my little rant. Besides that, however, I do love the characters. And I understand that their past experiences make them the way they are. I just hope that eventually, they can open up and find that they have common ground. Now, onto what's just happened. I'm assuming that Nate gets into physical and verbal fights with his father. But interestingly enough, he not only takes it, but gives it back to him as well? Though, I could be wrong and he just gets into fights with random guys, taking out his anger for his father on others that can make him feel pain, but the physical kind, not emotional. I don't know, just theories. Obviously I can't read people as well as Nate and Konstantine (sorry, that was a little dig at them, wasn't it).
If I had to predict what would happen, I would say that Konstantine will try to get him to the couch and watch Jessica patch him up, while wishing she could help, but not really feeling like it's her place. I also think that there's not really a way that Kon and Nate can go back to acting so apathetically towards each other anymore. And if they are able to, they're much better actors than I ever imagined.
1funnechickThat wasn't nice...that wasn't nice at all!
Okay, so I just started reading this story last night, and now I'm caught up to the present. So far, I've cried more than once and I do so feel emotionally invested into what happens with Konstantine. Though she and Nate do get on my nerves sometimes...they're constantly playing those mind games, saying things they don't mean, hiding what they really feel, and always trying to figure out everything and everybody. Sometimes I want to just scream at them: "Say what you mean and mean what you say. Just open up and stop trying to get into everybody else's minds when you won't even let them in yours!"
Alright, I'm done with my little rant. Besides that, however, I do love the characters. And I understand that their past experiences make them the way they are. I just hope that eventually, they can open up and find that they have common ground. Now, onto what's just happened. I'm assuming that Nate gets into physical and verbal fights with his father. But interestingly enough, he not only takes it, but gives it back to him as well? Though, I could be wrong and he just gets into fights with random guys, taking out his anger for his father on others that can make him feel pain, but the physical kind, not emotional. I don't know, just theories. Obviously I can't read people as well as Nate and Konstantine (sorry, that was a little dig at them, wasn't it).
If I had to predict what would happen, I would say that Konstantine will try to get him to the couch and watch Jessica patch him up, while wishing she could help, but not really feeling like it's her place. I also think that there's not really a way that Kon and Nate can go back to acting so apathetically towards each other anymore. And if they are able to, they're much better actors than I ever imagined.
6/25/2010 c14 Amia
OMFG This is terrible addicting...I want more!
OMFG This is terrible addicting...I want more!
6/25/2010 c14 1mchlmellen
its ironic that the title of this chapter is called fairytale. Nates seems to be living a fairytale for the first half of the chapter. He has a big mansion, expensive cars and a housekeeper. But, its only a cover, it seems like nate has a crappy life like Kon. This is a revealing chapter for nate. THis makes senses why he's an enigma.
1mchlmellenits ironic that the title of this chapter is called fairytale. Nates seems to be living a fairytale for the first half of the chapter. He has a big mansion, expensive cars and a housekeeper. But, its only a cover, it seems like nate has a crappy life like Kon. This is a revealing chapter for nate. THis makes senses why he's an enigma.
6/25/2010 c14 apple
this story's addicting, i feel their pain. i didnt think nate had a messed up family. please update asa =)
this story's addicting, i feel their pain. i didnt think nate had a messed up family. please update asa =)
6/25/2010 c14 1Kid of Colors
Oh how I hate cliffhangers! please update soon so I don't pull my hair out wondering what went down!
1Kid of ColorsOh how I hate cliffhangers! please update soon so I don't pull my hair out wondering what went down!
6/25/2010 c14 1goodbye blue tomorrow
No~ This shit is intense. What happened to Nathan?
Anyway, marvelous as usual. I really really adore your works, especially this one. I still can't get over how you can convey emotions so vividly and how your writing is so exquisite and detailed. Can't wait for the next update.
1goodbye blue tomorrowNo~ This shit is intense. What happened to Nathan?
Anyway, marvelous as usual. I really really adore your works, especially this one. I still can't get over how you can convey emotions so vividly and how your writing is so exquisite and detailed. Can't wait for the next update.
6/3/2010 c13 9The Golden Orchid
okay, to say that you're a brilliant writer would be a major, yes, MAJOR understatement. i've read several stories on fictionpress and i can safely say that yours is one among the best. i write too, but honestly, i envy people who can write as beautifully as you do. you have natural talent, so please don't ever stop. i love this story so much. i love the emotions i've felt while reading it. i love the way you bring in the flashbacks, so perfectly in tune with the story. i love all your characters and i love how you come up with these really great lines to portray their feelings. i love how it's a mix of drama, pain, laughter and feelings. i guess what i'm trying to say here is, i need chapter 14...SOON. like, if i don't have another dose of chroma, i might just die. okay, that's a bit much, but yeah, i might shed a tear or two :P and that's saying a LOT, cuz i never cry! but some parts of this story were so touching that i couldn't help but feel all mushy inside...anyway, i don't want to bore you with a long review so i'll just say that when you're done finishing the whole thing, be sure to send it to a publisher :P i'd love to buy it off the shelves some day. xoxo :)
9The Golden Orchidokay, to say that you're a brilliant writer would be a major, yes, MAJOR understatement. i've read several stories on fictionpress and i can safely say that yours is one among the best. i write too, but honestly, i envy people who can write as beautifully as you do. you have natural talent, so please don't ever stop. i love this story so much. i love the emotions i've felt while reading it. i love the way you bring in the flashbacks, so perfectly in tune with the story. i love all your characters and i love how you come up with these really great lines to portray their feelings. i love how it's a mix of drama, pain, laughter and feelings. i guess what i'm trying to say here is, i need chapter 14...SOON. like, if i don't have another dose of chroma, i might just die. okay, that's a bit much, but yeah, i might shed a tear or two :P and that's saying a LOT, cuz i never cry! but some parts of this story were so touching that i couldn't help but feel all mushy inside...anyway, i don't want to bore you with a long review so i'll just say that when you're done finishing the whole thing, be sure to send it to a publisher :P i'd love to buy it off the shelves some day. xoxo :)
5/30/2010 c13 2THis doesn't even exist
I don't care how nice she is to Nate.
Carol is ridiculous. I can't stand her.
and I know that Jess should love her mom and stuff, but it's bull.
I wouldn't put up with that. But i guess Konstantine is a freak.
"I realised that he hadn't meant reading books. He'd meant reading people"
This was a great line. I missed it the first time through, but I really like it.
I like how Nate can openly smile (Genuinely for the most part) at Jess when she does something that entertains him, but he only has a ghost of a smile when it comes to Kon...
but it bothers me too...
okay, so I know I've read through it before, but still the whole 'anti-social bitch' thing totally cought me off guard. Even the second time around. It's just... harsh. especially when it's a comeback for asshole. I mean, a little much.
and then she says 'stop pretending like you know me', and continues the conversation after she tells herself to stop replying. I'm not sure. just, both of the characters annoyed me at that point. but not enough to really make me notice it when I was reading through the first time, since it was kind of fast.
So, I hope you know this... ORAL HISTORY IS MY DREAM STORE!
Probably one of the most amazingly described places everywhere. I wish that you hadn’t just made it up. I would move wherever I needed to be to be able to go there. We should get together a bunch of fictionpress junkies, and some hippies, and then make one. It might take a little bit, but we could really make it work :)
I love that Kon said Nate terrified her. It kind of slipped out something that she doesn’t normally think. She was interested in him, and he confused her. She hated that she couldn’t read him, but I’m pretty sure he had only startled her in the past. Now the truth comes out.
AND GOD! Why couldn’t she just get the cd! Keep it for later.
But I’m still suspecting that he will get it for her.
I really, truly, love this story. Like I said, it’s indescribable for me.
It’s not really possible to explain why it’s so amazing, so I’m sorry I can’t do that for you, but still…
Maybe it’s because I know the song so well…
I’m really not sure. But I know that it is amazing. Not a lie. I couldn’t find anything to change about this chapter. Other than its length, but that really doesn’t affect the overall story. It just sucks when we are reading it chapter by chapter.
Again, I am willing to help in ANY way possible.
Can’t wait for 14
~Chelsey
2THis doesn't even existI don't care how nice she is to Nate.
Carol is ridiculous. I can't stand her.
and I know that Jess should love her mom and stuff, but it's bull.
I wouldn't put up with that. But i guess Konstantine is a freak.
"I realised that he hadn't meant reading books. He'd meant reading people"
This was a great line. I missed it the first time through, but I really like it.
I like how Nate can openly smile (Genuinely for the most part) at Jess when she does something that entertains him, but he only has a ghost of a smile when it comes to Kon...
but it bothers me too...
okay, so I know I've read through it before, but still the whole 'anti-social bitch' thing totally cought me off guard. Even the second time around. It's just... harsh. especially when it's a comeback for asshole. I mean, a little much.
and then she says 'stop pretending like you know me', and continues the conversation after she tells herself to stop replying. I'm not sure. just, both of the characters annoyed me at that point. but not enough to really make me notice it when I was reading through the first time, since it was kind of fast.
So, I hope you know this... ORAL HISTORY IS MY DREAM STORE!
Probably one of the most amazingly described places everywhere. I wish that you hadn’t just made it up. I would move wherever I needed to be to be able to go there. We should get together a bunch of fictionpress junkies, and some hippies, and then make one. It might take a little bit, but we could really make it work :)
I love that Kon said Nate terrified her. It kind of slipped out something that she doesn’t normally think. She was interested in him, and he confused her. She hated that she couldn’t read him, but I’m pretty sure he had only startled her in the past. Now the truth comes out.
AND GOD! Why couldn’t she just get the cd! Keep it for later.
But I’m still suspecting that he will get it for her.
I really, truly, love this story. Like I said, it’s indescribable for me.
It’s not really possible to explain why it’s so amazing, so I’m sorry I can’t do that for you, but still…
Maybe it’s because I know the song so well…
I’m really not sure. But I know that it is amazing. Not a lie. I couldn’t find anything to change about this chapter. Other than its length, but that really doesn’t affect the overall story. It just sucks when we are reading it chapter by chapter.
Again, I am willing to help in ANY way possible.
Can’t wait for 14
~Chelsey
5/29/2010 c13 stevie-kaye
Dear Alora,
Why must you and your writing be SO amazing?
I swear, I'm addicted to this story
I love the characters
And I love how Kon isn't Mary-Sue (*cough*BellaSwan*cough* sorry, had a tickle)
I do love the whole 'people reading' thing going on with both Nate & Kon
When you're published (which you will be, duh!) I expect a copy :)
And it will always remind me of you & leavers :) haha
Dear Alora,
Why must you and your writing be SO amazing?
I swear, I'm addicted to this story
I love the characters
And I love how Kon isn't Mary-Sue (*cough*BellaSwan*cough* sorry, had a tickle)
I do love the whole 'people reading' thing going on with both Nate & Kon
When you're published (which you will be, duh!) I expect a copy :)
And it will always remind me of you & leavers :) haha
5/29/2010 c12 4Jane P
i love this!
amazing story so far and i love how you write
great job, i can't wait for the next chapter!
:D
4Jane Pi love this!
amazing story so far and i love how you write
great job, i can't wait for the next chapter!
:D
5/29/2010 c13 anti-art
Oh yay! You updated! And yeah, it was short but I liked this chapter. I don't really like Nate all that much... he really is a-hole. But his character is interesting.
AND I REALLY want to know more about the CD Kon was holding and if it was Chris'! ...I'm guessing it was, but I need confirmation. And I want to know more about him.
Oh. And I totally like the fact that Kon isn't one of those characters that just falls for the first guy she sees. She's still in mourning over Chris and I kinda like that - it just proves how much she loved him.
Oh yay! You updated! And yeah, it was short but I liked this chapter. I don't really like Nate all that much... he really is a-hole. But his character is interesting.
AND I REALLY want to know more about the CD Kon was holding and if it was Chris'! ...I'm guessing it was, but I need confirmation. And I want to know more about him.
Oh. And I totally like the fact that Kon isn't one of those characters that just falls for the first guy she sees. She's still in mourning over Chris and I kinda like that - it just proves how much she loved him.
5/29/2010 c13 Shawnden
(I'm going to give a more thourough review actually using my account later. I'm just about to go out and run some errands.)
Holy Cheese I love you!
Since before the email, I was like, grinding my teeth waiting for this chapter, and then afterwards, I was a little more relaxed. but still waiting.
This chapter was awesome, even though it was short. I hate the fact that I read it though, because it makes me want more. Over time, I kind of forgot exactly how much I love this story.
I pretty much think that my love for it is indescribable.
anyway, again, need a beta for 14? whenever you want, just email me.
Gotta go!
~Chelsey
(p.s. I wanted her to get the cd!)
OH WAIT!
(I think Nate should buy her the cd... whether he knows it somewhat upsets her or not...)
okay. that's all...
(I'm going to give a more thourough review actually using my account later. I'm just about to go out and run some errands.)
Holy Cheese I love you!
Since before the email, I was like, grinding my teeth waiting for this chapter, and then afterwards, I was a little more relaxed. but still waiting.
This chapter was awesome, even though it was short. I hate the fact that I read it though, because it makes me want more. Over time, I kind of forgot exactly how much I love this story.
I pretty much think that my love for it is indescribable.
anyway, again, need a beta for 14? whenever you want, just email me.
Gotta go!
~Chelsey
(p.s. I wanted her to get the cd!)
OH WAIT!
(I think Nate should buy her the cd... whether he knows it somewhat upsets her or not...)
okay. that's all...
5/29/2010 c13 3Tash Sta. Maria
Oh wow.
This is probably the best I've read here. Seriously.
I love how you make the transition from Kon's train of thoughts to reality seem almost effortless. It sorta pulls you in. :O
I'll cry if you stop updating. Seriously cry. :'(
3Tash Sta. MariaOh wow.
This is probably the best I've read here. Seriously.
I love how you make the transition from Kon's train of thoughts to reality seem almost effortless. It sorta pulls you in. :O
I'll cry if you stop updating. Seriously cry. :'(
5/29/2010 c13 1goodbye blue tomorrow
Finally, an update! Definitely worth the wait, I must say. Yeah, it is short but, it's still good, nonetheless. I love how the emotions are being portrayed so nicely and the scenes in this chapter plays out very smoothly in my head. Heck, it's the same for every chapter! :) Stay awesome!
1goodbye blue tomorrowFinally, an update! Definitely worth the wait, I must say. Yeah, it is short but, it's still good, nonetheless. I love how the emotions are being portrayed so nicely and the scenes in this chapter plays out very smoothly in my head. Heck, it's the same for every chapter! :) Stay awesome!