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2/14/2010 c1 Anise Cary
First off I love that this is about dinosaurs. My son is in a total dinosaur phase right now and we've read every book we can find.

You have some great imagery to start off. I can hear all the noise Rex is talking about. He sounds realistically like a child or preteen wanting to know exactly why his parents want him to do things he sees as being unnecessary.

Oh I really like the T-rex's seeing themselves as security enforcers, making sure the other dinosaur groups don't get too large. What a unique way to think about it.

The juvenile waged his tail as he looked down it - I think you mean wagged here

I am intrigued, I want to keep reading to find out what the caped and hooded creatures are though I have my suspicions.

Only question I have, and you may yet answer it in another chapter.. which duckbill dinos are they hunting? Sorry since I know dinos now I like to be able to picture them clearly, I'm wondering if it's Maiasaura, Parasoralophus, or yet a different one.

Great chapter.
2/14/2010 c3 2Awkward Situation
I've never read a story about dinosaurs that interested me much, but this is an exception to the rule. The dialogue is beautiful and very realistic, and it flows. As for dinosaurs living among humans, that is intriguing. Overall, a lovely three chapters. This made a nice read.

P.S: Thanks for reviewing my piece, sorry for the late repay!
2/7/2010 c2 11J. D. Bennett
I really like the way you started this chapter. You're very good at writing action. One suggestion is to use "Eira" a little more and "the young woman" a little less. No biggie, it just got a little repetitive.

I like how you described Eira. You worked it into the story, instead of just describing her all in one plot-interfering piece. Way too many stories on here do that, it drives me insane. Thank you for not doing that haha.

I probably told you this already but I love how this story is about dinosaurs. It's a nice change from vampire fiction. This story is very refreshing. Keep up the great work! I look forward to reading the next chapter.
1/30/2010 c1 7Liya Smith
This is really creative. Dinosaurs... wow.. Anyway, I absolutely loved the descriptions. Your writing is clear and effective and I really was sucked into the story. :) I enjoyed reading this!
1/30/2010 c1 4firefly114
You have a very nice writing style, and your descriptions are beautiful.

My only comment is that you might want to raise the stakes a little-the story opens on a fairly calm scene, and we don't necesarily know how Rex feels about the lesson. Maybe if he is a bit apprehensive or scared, that would help move the beginning along a little bit.

The dialogue is great, and it's so cool how you make these creatures come alive!
1/27/2010 c1 1ajramsey
Okay this is great. I never thought i would be interested in a dinosaur story but i liked how they seemed more human than creature. It makes it easy to relate too. I also like how they react to the changing world around them especially coming across humans(those were humans right?) its an interesting twist.
1/26/2010 c1 11J. D. Bennett
First off: the first paragraph is awesome. A lot of stories on this site lack strong opening paragraphs that keep the reader interested, but this one was way better. Your description is very nice, and not overbearing.

I also really like how the dialogue is very human, with their formal english and all of that. I wonder if this has some sort of historical parallel.

Also, are the humans supposed to be vampires? That's pretty cool. With so many vampire novels out and about these days, I have yet to see a vampire-dinosaur one. Sweet.

Anyway, I couldn't really find any technical errors or anything. Keep up the good work, definitely adding this to my alert list!
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