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3/27/2010 c5 4123HSMluver
Oh goodness, sorry it's taken me so long to read this!

I LOVE IT!

HAHA

How did you know? "No!" she shouted. "That was one time, will you drop it already!"
3/12/2010 c5 1Charel Lebl
ok, this review is over all 5 chapters. The plot is very interesting so far, confusing, but captivating. I can't wait to see how the pieces all get pulled together, and what that virus thing is and the people behind it. Your people in the story are very realistic, and your grammar is much better than most people's i see. One thing...so far it's really good, but you should have something suspenseful or exciting every two chapters or so, to keep the reader interested. Just a little hint for future chapters, these have the perfect amount. You could use less dialogue, but that's just my opinion since I hardly ever use it. I just find it's easier to read when there are less words and more meaning. If I didn't try to find something to criticize in every chapter, i would say there are very few mistakes. Excellent job!

~CL
3/11/2010 c5 8Kobra Kid
Haha, I love Nadine! She's so funny xD. Definitely with the greenhouse part, & I can't wait to see what happens in the the next chapter with it. ^_^. I really love this story, the parts with Nadine, PB & Mr. B make me laugh b/c of how they all interact. This is really great, update soon!

~BC

P.S. Please payback via AOS & RFTA. Thanks so, so much!
3/11/2010 c4 Kobra Kid
Okay, first thing, NADINE IS INSANE! She's 25 years old, talks to a teddy bear named Police Brutality and gave Mr. B a concussion over french toast? What's up with her? 0_o. However, I do like her. She adds a sense of humor (and craziness) to the story, which makes it much more intruiging & interesting to read. :].

~BC
3/8/2010 c5 7zombie chickens
Not a date with Mr. Bellamy! Planning to be done indeed. Nadine is psychotic, I loved her opening line to the neighbor. "You look well, unfortunately." It's really cracking me up that Mr. Bellamy is so patient and obviously a really nice person. I mean, she broke into his house and ate his breakfast and he...forgives her? lol! I just wish your chapters were longer, they go by way too fast and always manage to make my day.
3/7/2010 c3 8Kobra Kid
Wow, that was a tense chapter! I liked it x3. I like those kind of stories that are suspenseful & keep you on the edge of your seat. You did a great job though, every sentence felt like a cliff hanger! So thumbs up on that!

"With a final jab of the bayonet," I thought it was a rifle?

Anyways, I loved it. Fabulous job!

~BC

P.S. Please payback these 2 reviews via "Rise From The Ashes." Thanks!
3/7/2010 c2 Kobra Kid
Oh wow, that was an...interesting chapter. x3. I never expected her to break into Jon's house for French Toast & then knock him out cold. that's sorta..over the top. haha, but my life is like that so I loved it! xD. Some humor is always great, definitely from the dark prologue. Anyways, great job! Keep it up!

~BC
3/7/2010 c5 13Tsumujikaze no Soujutsu
Well, to be honest I've got nothing to say for this chapter plotline wise apart from the fact that Bellamy might or might not be in the main plot. As for Nadine, her immature nature has less of an impact in this chapter compared to the previous ones. This might be a good thing for me at least for now because I think you might have overplayed her childish nature for the previous chapters in such a way it the whole thing would most likely create a certain two end reaction to her character. But then again, it's not too bad to have a character that you either like or hate since it gets to show that you're at least doing something right along the character impact. With that being said though, I suspect my dislike for her in the next few chapters might rise up again depending on how much you played up her immature nature.

On a side note, I remember saying in one of your previous A/Ns that you planned for her to be a nutjob of sorts. However, she came across to me as more of a character with the mental age of a twelve year old. I'm not saying you're doing something wrong here, but I do think it will be good to see her in this same old state instead of you suddenly reacting to my previous statement. To be frank I don't think Nadine's character should be the so-called nutcase type like you've said in that A/N. For some reason I just can't imagine her going batshit crazy in the mental aspect. But then again, making her much more of an overgrown brat rather than a true blue nutcase might be your exact intentions. I don't know to be honest. Sorry if this review means crap concrete help wise. My mind is still in the state of processing a whole bout of technical critique that has come into my way for the past couple of days where The Eternal Grail is concerned. :S
2/22/2010 c3 4FoSizzle
Wow this is really good! I feel so frightened for her, and I can really feel the drama setting in! Also, the doctor seems like the classic villian, in a good way, but with a few quirks that give it that unique feel. :)

I'm just being nitpicky here so I can give you some comments, but one thing that I was confused for a little bit was the ferret. I actually went over the sentence where you added it in without really realizing the ferret was there, and then when it jumped from the corner, I was like, whoa! It's a ferret! So maybe one or two lines of descriptions of the ferret and maybe some other characters, like the henchmen, would be nice. But like I said, I'm nitpicking. :)

Great job with this chapter, and I hope to read more soon!
2/22/2010 c4 13Tsumujikaze no Soujutsu
Nadine is indeed a nutcase if there's any truth in your A/N. She really reminds me of the female main of a certain Japanese drama I've seen recently albeit Nadine is worse by a bazillion times. To be honest I don't like her character. She's way too annoying for my taste and I suspect her apparent childish mentality is even worse than Arynn of The Eternal Grail and that says a lot especially when I'm the one who created his character as you've known by now.

So far nothing up on the cards plot wise, but I'm really having this feeling that this chapter was meant to make the reader dislike Nadine. If so, then congratulations. You done the deal for me. Honestly speaking I truly hope to see a certain drastic change to her character for the better in the future, be it in the near or long run. To be honest I'm actually not one to dislike a character so easily, but Nadine is just way too loony to be liked as a character for me. With that being said though, I can see a subtle hint on her character that may imply that she's pretty much a simple person at heart. If that's true, then you will do well in fleshing that part out. If I'm wrong, then I'm truly praying that such a person won't exist in my life because my life will be in an absolute hell. :(

Sorry if this review sounds harsh, but truth to be spoken Nadine really drives me up to the wall as a character. Hopefully you're not offended by my apparent character bashing due to the above mentioned reason. :S

P.S: Return this review via The Eternal Grail. :)
2/21/2010 c4 7zombie chickens
I love Nadine. Her craziness is amazing. The fact that she's bitter about her neighbor winning the lottery and that she has a stuffed ear named Police Brutality...I love it. I'm laughing out my extremities on the inside. I like her philosophy that she can balance out the universe by bothering her neighbor.

Luce is so...responsible..It's great seeing how totally different types of characters either mix or clash. Anyway, another great chapter and I really can't wait to see what happens when Nadine 'apologizes'.
2/20/2010 c4 4123HSMluver
Hah wow Nadine is totally crazy :P But it's definitely easy to see that something's up with Luce! Can't wait to see what happens! I love the PB thing - epic win (Y) :D
2/12/2010 c1 6ephemeral dance
I can already tell that you have a nice style that I am really going to enjoy reading. The opening sentence was very nice, calmly gripping.

The chapter started off so sweetly, with the women dancing along the tracks, and then wham. A pile of dead bodies. Awesome ending to the chapter. Great job!
2/11/2010 c3 7zombie chickens
This chapter was a little confusing, but not that much, I mean we know that she saw something that she shouldn't have and that something was going to come of it eventually. It just leaves more questions as to who the people are who grabbed her and what they want with her now.

This chapter was really good, andI wish I could give you some more constructive feedback, but I can't, I'll be waiting eagerly for the next one.
2/7/2010 c3 13Tsumujikaze no Soujutsu
Well, I don't find this chapter confusing. In fact I can follow it pretty muc easily, so rest easy here. Anyway, this chapter is really suspenseful plot wise mainly because it opens some vital questions to the whole agenda and plot issue. And I think these questions can also be termed as possible hints to the futurep plot. Only thing that bothers me here is that whether the effect will take place in the near or far run. Anyway, I guess Ange will be a vital character here not to mention I'm still interested to see the link between the two different scenarios so far. :) Apart from that, nothing much to say. Erm actually it's because I'm still on an anime hangover high after watching the entire Kara no Kyoukai movie episodes. :S
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