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for Hypocrite

3/22/2016 c1 osmodion
This is so nice! T.T cries cause of feels
8/12/2012 c1 Make Your Mark
I really liked the emotions running through this story, it's really good! ;)
1/28/2010 c1 4Saleinaenachiya
I won't lie; its very hard to follow. The writing itself is excellent, and the lines are provocative, and well executed, especially the ending. I love the "I never tried to understand why you are who you are" that definitely made me smile.

the emotions are very raw-and still; I feel like some of the dialogue is lacking substance. Its hard to follow who is saying what, and there are also some spots where I felt that you forgot to add a word or two to make it make sense. So overlooking those little flaws, I have to say I really enjoyed reading this. In my head I completely saw the scene, and I would really enjoy it if you tried to expand on this idea. I can see it having great potential for a novel of some sorts, or perhaps a short story?

Anyways, I'll stop there so you don't have to read too much (sorry if this is a long reply) Great work! definitely one of my favorites.

-Saleinaenachiya

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