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8/26/2012 c1 71abstractelysium
Your storytelling is really intriguing, and your images are my favorite part of your style. I really, really enjoyed this. Lovely.

Keep writing! abby
2/5/2010 c1 173sunshineofyourlife
This is perfect. Absolutely perfect.

"Pale blue walls symolise peace; are cold"

"Why do you make the effort to be my saviour when what I need is a sinner to burn my life into the ground? I wouldn't mind."

These lines make the poem real. This brings me back to my days with the psychologist. I love it. As I've said before, the way you write brings things to life. Never stop!

-Sunshine
2/2/2010 c1 879Moondog Dozier
I wasn't expecting the shift-burst at the end. I like the sterile nature of the beginning as it matches the atmosphere that you've created. The confessional-internal voice works well to draw the reader into the situation, and the tone switch at the end really makes the reader think about the progression. Very well written. MD:77.
2/2/2010 c1 8sealednectar
Well this was really good (even if you haven't written in a hundred years;). The speaker in this poem is fraught with self-doubt and self- loathing, I feel. I liked how at the beginning the focus is on inaminate objects- taking attention off of themselves.

'where they hide the nutters.'-Jarring and abrupt. A really memorable line. The speaker is being very negative, are the 'nutters' a reflection on themselves I wonder.

However, my favourite lines will have to be: 'Posters with bulletpoints/and cartoons: make light/those problems whose/solutions we hope to find,/here, make it simple -/give us hope' because this was a great visual image for me and actually true (sadly).

I liked the image of the 'light filters...half-slant'. Wonderful.

The final image is very vivid. It's almost as if they feel they are dying.

Very well written. Keep writing.
2/2/2010 c1 14limpwrist
Powerful, thoughtful. You write really well even if it has been a while. The last three lines were beautiful
1/31/2010 c1 54Wiggity Wam
wow.

you are writing again.. you have no idea how my face lit up when i saw the alert in my inbox.

this is the start of what may be a powerful comeback for you.

'doctor, why do you hold / my life on a pedastal?'

'reads: Confidential. Tell your secrets here.'

your voice is... confident. and this is far from anything overused or cliche.. i'm happy, though the matter you bring to the table is.. more serious.

well.. welcome back. = )

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