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6/14/2000 c1 Outlaw Sue
I've read both your stories, and really like them. They're incredibly imaginative, and loaded with details. Your writing style (sparse and "stick-to-the-facts" clear) really complements the type of story you're writing (science fiction, set in the future), and the personality of the lead character. I look foward to seeing more from Parkman!
5/22/2000 c1 Kristin Ohman
First off, good story. Rough around the edges, though. A few suggestions and question. 1, are you going to give the narrater a name? If so, I'd introduce him after the first paragragh. I was confused about that until I realized that you weren't going to name him. 2, where are they going? I saw Mars and the astroid belt mentioned, but it didn't actually say where they were, where they came from, and why they were surprised that the place they were at was so nice. Thats all I have to say right now.

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