for Letters To Will2/17/2010 c1 
41Pelirizado
Honestly, I can't stand teenage romances, but I really liked how you opened this one up (forgive the pun). I liked the withholding of information, and the sort of suspense it builds. To me what it all comes down to in stories is tension and release. More tension means the reader is on the edge of his seat waiting for the next word, less tension makes for some pretty boring reading.
A couple suggestions in re-wording: It was the thick, yellowish brown type. (for the second sentence)
and
Other than his address, which was written small and tight in the corner, there was one word printed in the middle. (for the third sentence)
Keep up the good work!
41PelirizadoHonestly, I can't stand teenage romances, but I really liked how you opened this one up (forgive the pun). I liked the withholding of information, and the sort of suspense it builds. To me what it all comes down to in stories is tension and release. More tension means the reader is on the edge of his seat waiting for the next word, less tension makes for some pretty boring reading.
A couple suggestions in re-wording: It was the thick, yellowish brown type. (for the second sentence)
and
Other than his address, which was written small and tight in the corner, there was one word printed in the middle. (for the third sentence)
Keep up the good work!