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for A Strange Combination

5/19/2011 c17 star
great chapter wow i like the ending wanna see tomoya dark side hahaha
6/29/2010 c2 23DecayedDreams
I know that you said that you would change everything when you've written the entire story but if you don't make changes as you continue to write, then you will never make those changes.

Well your I's seem to have gotten a little better only because you said "I" the words like I'm and I'll are still not capitalize. If I told you to write I'm without the " ' " then you'll have to put I right so please do capitalize your I's.

You need to capitalize your sentences or else I don't know where things start.

Also capitalize their names (Otomiya Tomoya) you did it in the POV spot so why not in the actually story.

It's hard for me to say that you are NOT WRITING A STORY, it looks more like Inkshed (where you just sit down and write without any punctuations) Also Inkshed doesn't have to make any sense once you read it over. Inkshed is just to get your ideas down, but after you do that you have to slowly go through your ideas and make tons of changes.
6/29/2010 c1 DecayedDreams
Well let's say you have a lot of room for improvement, here are some of the spots:

Capitalizing "I"s

putting periods/question marks/exclamation marks at the end of sentences.

capitalizing people's names

Capitalizing the first word in a sentence

using correct dialogue punctuation

Making paragraphs

writing numbers (eleven)

learning to read things out loud to your self

Don't worry I'll try to coach you a little at a time (if your willing to listen) Don't worry I won't throw everything at you right now. This will be my working process.

First capitalize your I's even if it has something attached to it such as

I'm - which really is "I am"

I'll - "I will"

Also you always capitalize your name in school right, as well as your classmates? Well there's no difference in this situation. Therefore

Akira and Yumi Nishina should be capitalized

K I think I'll stop with that for now (Hope to see you take in my message and change a couple of things)
5/28/2010 c1 lili999
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4/24/2010 c11 11Arisa Hanari
sorry for taking so long to catch up with the latest chap. *ehehee* i like the training scene. both of them looks adorable together IMO. XD update again~ =D
3/13/2010 c1 ANYTHING
THE PLOT AND THE IDEAS IN THE STORY ARE SO ORIGINAL

THE STORY HAS HUMOR , DRAMA , SIMPLE ROMANCE WITHOUT A LOT OF UNNEEDED SCENES

THE PROGRESS BETWEEN THE CHARACTERS IS SO GOOD AND THE WAY YOU DESCRIBE THINGS IS SO GOOD TOO

HOPE TO SEE THE REST SOON
3/4/2010 c7 Noora
CUTE! AWESOME! LOVELY! SO ROMANTIC! BUT NOT IN AN ANNOYING WAY! I LOVE IT! KEEP WRITING! CAN`T WAIT TO READ MORE *O*
3/4/2010 c8 7Setogirl2
thanks for all the reviews till now
2/27/2010 c5 11Arisa Hanari
you're story was getting better and better. i think it's developing nicely. can't wait for the next chap. keep up the good work.
2/27/2010 c5 Yui Hina
I like your story very much. Keep it going! You got some of the words wrong though, like 'seen', which i think is supposed to be 'scene'. Anyway, good job:)

Payback for Song of Silence. Sry for taking so long:P
2/25/2010 c5 Noora
OMG I LOOVE IT *O*

XD

XD

SO FUNNY AND CUTE XD

It presents the typical independent girl slowly falling into the world of love. ;D Slowlly realizing her feelings for a very nice and collected guy like Tomoya. =)

I want to read more. *O*

KEPP WRITING!
2/19/2010 c3 Arisa Hanari
ah, the story is progressing~ yay! i could understand better now ^_^ keep up the good work!
2/16/2010 c3 Noora
OMG it`s the cutest story I have ever read, so cute. I jsut wish there is more to read, love the characters, the way they interact with each-other. Everything is so sweet and pretty realistic. Love the 2 point of views, it makes it easy to understand the thoughts and feelings of the characters. Keep it up and can`t wait to read more. ^_^
2/11/2010 c1 2Maika Du Pont
I like the plot a lot. I haven't read a story before with this kind of plot, so it's new and interesting. I only have one criticism; you may need to work on your punctuation and capitalization. Other than that, it's really cool.
2/11/2010 c2 11Arisa Hanari
it's quite good for a start! i love Yumi's character, strong and confident. but i still can't tell how Tomoya's character would be like. so far, it looks like he's a good guy ^^ i can't really comment on grammar or anything (mine sucks!), but i can tell you one thing though, i kinda get confused sometimes in between narration and thoughts.( you could use '...' or even (...) or even [...] on thoughts. it totally depends on u!) hope you continue on with the story~ ^_^
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