for Thieves of Samurett7/2/2015 c1 Kat
You have made me so sad you cannot understand..
I hate you. You've left the story to die!
You've killed the characters!
Why? Just why did you do that if you didn't intend to complete it?
You have made me so sad you cannot understand..
I hate you. You've left the story to die!
You've killed the characters!
Why? Just why did you do that if you didn't intend to complete it?
6/2/2014 c1 Isobel
Why haven't you updated if you've already written the entire story? I do not understand.
Why haven't you updated if you've already written the entire story? I do not understand.
12/22/2012 c6 Guest
Lol first i have to say I love the hindi. I have read your other works and your other pieces, esp catharsis and predator are so scary! I like this different plot outtake, but i like how you kept the same writing style, it is so beautiful and unique. I'd love to read more!
Lol first i have to say I love the hindi. I have read your other works and your other pieces, esp catharsis and predator are so scary! I like this different plot outtake, but i like how you kept the same writing style, it is so beautiful and unique. I'd love to read more!
4/12/2012 c6 xDoubleU
Assalamu Alaikum.
I've already mentioned how much I love your writing. And now, I'm absolutely in love with it. I love the fact that in every paragraph there's imagery. How everything reminds the protagonist of something else. How everything is beautiful in some way or the other. It's lovely, the poetic imagery in every sentence is brilliant.
I'm liking Polly's character. Though if I were in her shoes, I would probably scream at every single person in everywhere every time to tell me what's going on, who are they, what's happening and etc. but then again, she does live in another time.. And I'm very curious about her childhood, it's obvious something happened when she a kid. The fact that she broke down when Tim wanted to leave, and the kid she keeps remembering makes it apparent.. Though I might be mistaken :P But her actions are really understandable, the fact that she followed Carlton and left Saber, and how she wants to run away to her parents.
I keep thinking that the child she remembers is Heath (even though, except in the prologue and that one scene, we have yet to reallyreallyactually meet him). WHAT HAPPENED TO THE CHILD, I wonder~
So far~ I'm liking Eclipse and Saber. Caleb is very annoying. Honestly, how can he NOT see things from Polly's POV? Now that I think about it, she should've chucked her shoes at him for his very annoying comments. She wasn't informed about /anything/ and they really expect her to stay still and do as they say? /TEH OUTRAGE/ xD
Now back to Eclipse. He's veryvery unusual, that one. I like him, he's amusing and sweet~ you know, except when he left and never returned and he danced around her questions *rageface* but I really do like him. And ok, wow, wasn't really expecting his amusing departure to be in that "amusing" way..
I like Saber, too, even though he's almost as annoying as Caleb.. but he's much more tolerable and nicer therefore I like him. BTW, did that white wolf find her because of Saber's cape? I reallyreally think that wolf smelled his way to her because of said cape.. and now that the cape is abandoned before the mouth of a cave, what will they DOO, I wonder~
And BLAH I'm just very curious and I want to know about every little detail and everything (and that language Eclipse spoke in, is it Indian? Urdu? Something else from the depths of your mind?) and what's going to happen in the next chapter (and the chapters following it and the end~). AND WHAT'S GOING ON. I'm gonna shut up, now~ (Are they werewolves? And just who exactly was that white wolf? I think I'll reread the chapters again and try to find out). You know, the summary is really torturing me right now..
I really like the soft balls of light at the end of the chapter, it reminded me of this one poem I wrote about running in a mist and how small balls of light couldn't keep up :P But really, I can't help but feel that those floating light orbs are quite the opposite of what they appear to be. I SMELL EVIL APPROACHING.
BTW, I found one tiny typo in chapter 3; "If you wish you wish to continue acting like a child" the doubled 'you wish'. And also, in chapter 4, when Polly wanted to go back to inform Saber that she was leaving, she didn't mention Saber's name, calling him 'a friend' instead, so how did Carlton know his name? (Unless that was intentional, or maybe Carlton saw Saber sleeping in his house)..
And again, I have to remind you; you write beautifully, brilliantly, amazingly, stunningly and I love how you weave the words together in these lovely sentences and imagery. I can't wait for the next chapter and I hope you'll update soon.
xDoubleU, or just Waad.
Assalamu Alaikum.
I've already mentioned how much I love your writing. And now, I'm absolutely in love with it. I love the fact that in every paragraph there's imagery. How everything reminds the protagonist of something else. How everything is beautiful in some way or the other. It's lovely, the poetic imagery in every sentence is brilliant.
I'm liking Polly's character. Though if I were in her shoes, I would probably scream at every single person in everywhere every time to tell me what's going on, who are they, what's happening and etc. but then again, she does live in another time.. And I'm very curious about her childhood, it's obvious something happened when she a kid. The fact that she broke down when Tim wanted to leave, and the kid she keeps remembering makes it apparent.. Though I might be mistaken :P But her actions are really understandable, the fact that she followed Carlton and left Saber, and how she wants to run away to her parents.
I keep thinking that the child she remembers is Heath (even though, except in the prologue and that one scene, we have yet to reallyreallyactually meet him). WHAT HAPPENED TO THE CHILD, I wonder~
So far~ I'm liking Eclipse and Saber. Caleb is very annoying. Honestly, how can he NOT see things from Polly's POV? Now that I think about it, she should've chucked her shoes at him for his very annoying comments. She wasn't informed about /anything/ and they really expect her to stay still and do as they say? /TEH OUTRAGE/ xD
Now back to Eclipse. He's veryvery unusual, that one. I like him, he's amusing and sweet~ you know, except when he left and never returned and he danced around her questions *rageface* but I really do like him. And ok, wow, wasn't really expecting his amusing departure to be in that "amusing" way..
I like Saber, too, even though he's almost as annoying as Caleb.. but he's much more tolerable and nicer therefore I like him. BTW, did that white wolf find her because of Saber's cape? I reallyreally think that wolf smelled his way to her because of said cape.. and now that the cape is abandoned before the mouth of a cave, what will they DOO, I wonder~
And BLAH I'm just very curious and I want to know about every little detail and everything (and that language Eclipse spoke in, is it Indian? Urdu? Something else from the depths of your mind?) and what's going to happen in the next chapter (and the chapters following it and the end~). AND WHAT'S GOING ON. I'm gonna shut up, now~ (Are they werewolves? And just who exactly was that white wolf? I think I'll reread the chapters again and try to find out). You know, the summary is really torturing me right now..
I really like the soft balls of light at the end of the chapter, it reminded me of this one poem I wrote about running in a mist and how small balls of light couldn't keep up :P But really, I can't help but feel that those floating light orbs are quite the opposite of what they appear to be. I SMELL EVIL APPROACHING.
BTW, I found one tiny typo in chapter 3; "If you wish you wish to continue acting like a child" the doubled 'you wish'. And also, in chapter 4, when Polly wanted to go back to inform Saber that she was leaving, she didn't mention Saber's name, calling him 'a friend' instead, so how did Carlton know his name? (Unless that was intentional, or maybe Carlton saw Saber sleeping in his house)..
And again, I have to remind you; you write beautifully, brilliantly, amazingly, stunningly and I love how you weave the words together in these lovely sentences and imagery. I can't wait for the next chapter and I hope you'll update soon.
xDoubleU, or just Waad.
12/14/2011 c6 superficialowl
I almost gave up on this story ever being updated, which would have been a shame because I am so curious as to what is going on and what is going to happen. Another great chapter but just made me more curious lol.
I almost gave up on this story ever being updated, which would have been a shame because I am so curious as to what is going on and what is going to happen. Another great chapter but just made me more curious lol.
8/30/2011 c6 
3Love Rhymes With
Ok. You’ve got me. I’m hooked. Please update soon! I like how strong willed Polly is, and how flippant Eclipse is. I'm really digging the characters. Once again, pretty please update with a cherry on top?
3Love Rhymes WithOk. You’ve got me. I’m hooked. Please update soon! I like how strong willed Polly is, and how flippant Eclipse is. I'm really digging the characters. Once again, pretty please update with a cherry on top?
3/14/2011 c5 Evey S
Interesting!
An original story, and an imaginitive twist with the horror and fantasy. It was exciting to read, and intriguing enough for me to want more.
I've read some of you other stories, so I see the slight change in writing style-but the change only benefits you. It makes the story, as you said, more commercial and easy to read-but without losing that unique way of storytelling you do so well!
Please do not stop writing. It is obvious from all your stories that you have both the skills and imagination to achieve publication for some of your works.
May I suggest putting your work on a more trusted site? On ), you would recieve better/more feedback and critique from people that would appreciate your skills and stories. And plus, you wouldn't have to worry about plagiarism there.
In the meanwhile, I'll be awaiting the next chapter of your story!
~Evey
Interesting!
An original story, and an imaginitive twist with the horror and fantasy. It was exciting to read, and intriguing enough for me to want more.
I've read some of you other stories, so I see the slight change in writing style-but the change only benefits you. It makes the story, as you said, more commercial and easy to read-but without losing that unique way of storytelling you do so well!
Please do not stop writing. It is obvious from all your stories that you have both the skills and imagination to achieve publication for some of your works.
May I suggest putting your work on a more trusted site? On ), you would recieve better/more feedback and critique from people that would appreciate your skills and stories. And plus, you wouldn't have to worry about plagiarism there.
In the meanwhile, I'll be awaiting the next chapter of your story!
~Evey
1/29/2011 c1 breathless74
please update... this is so good :)
please update... this is so good :)
11/26/2010 c5 thetynkster
Hi,
I really like how your story is progressing, it makes me wonder a lot (which is a good thing). For example , I wonder how Timothy is involved in all of this , is he "friends" with the boys? Plus , what about Polly`s parents, are they really dead?
Anyways , I love the fact that your stories have a ,sort of, dark atmospheres and I hope you update soon!
the tynkster
Hi,
I really like how your story is progressing, it makes me wonder a lot (which is a good thing). For example , I wonder how Timothy is involved in all of this , is he "friends" with the boys? Plus , what about Polly`s parents, are they really dead?
Anyways , I love the fact that your stories have a ,sort of, dark atmospheres and I hope you update soon!
the tynkster
10/29/2010 c5 2renegade01
dude, that was intense. you have to post more. especially since you have more written. you're killing us here with the wait. i'm thinking caleb and saber are the same person, or am i completely wrong? can't wait for more. ;)
2renegade01dude, that was intense. you have to post more. especially since you have more written. you're killing us here with the wait. i'm thinking caleb and saber are the same person, or am i completely wrong? can't wait for more. ;)
9/22/2010 c5 Flower-in-the-Night
Hey Shoeka, thought I'd review since I'm really depressed and grouchy *pulls a face*. Anyways, for starters I love Anna hahahahhahahahha! she's legend just legend dude leggeennd but anyways *clears throat and looks intellectual* enough with me being compunctious, actually I looked that word up and it means causing or feeling compunction; regretful or (its a noun) a feeling of remorse, guilt or regret. Hm...so basically the funky little girl with a doll and creased forehead with also blinking eyes is telling our beloved polly or gwyntallia (whichever one you prefer your the author not me :P) that she should feel remorseful? Wow I can't believe I just spent 5 minutes researching that and coming to that conclusion when she's already said this in her previous sentence. Hehe shame on me not polly. But I like polly I think she has bef (well sometimes) at the moment I'm kinda scouting for people that I hate and want you to kill, like Tom from Catharsis grh. But anyways I've got a question, how did she manage to close the door THEN run underneath the bed in time so that the old man didn't see? I would think hypothetically that by doing so the old man would wake up straight away since it was such a loud sound and see her. Another thing as well, what was the point of slamming the door anyways? the old man was asleep and lets say that for the previous point he took a longer time to wake up allowing her the chance to dive underneath the bed out of the view then wasn't there no need for her to slam the door in the first place? Why didn't she sneak out of the window (which she inevitably did anyway) at the very beginning? That way he wouldn't have woken up since it took him longer to wake up when she slammed the door and that way the others would not have been alerted. *Takes a deep sigh* Ok thats it I've reverted back to not liking Polly first in the previous chapter she didn't clock on about the fact that man had said saber?slater?skater? name when she hadn't mentioned him but noticed when he was bleeding? Just plain ludicrous! (I like that word hehe) but onto the good points. I really liked the imagery you used and I particularly think that one scene where she's fatigued and refuses anyone's help is very well written. I love how she keeps thinking of her own mother in what she would do in that situation, how she would handle it and how she should use 'soft words and a sweet tongue' to get her point across. Its interesting because its apparent that she has a lot of feelings that she wishes to express, a lot of words that she wishes to speak but due to being considered a 'child' and having to act like a mature young woman she is foregoing all her emotions and instead is bottling them up. Sounds rather draining, I loved the build up that you've used in term of this throughout the previous chapters. For instance, with Timothy how when she was angry with him she showed her disdain not by anger but self constraint and the 'sweet words' just as how her mother had instructed her. I loved it when she lost her cool and lashed out at Caleb since he was being a prat and completely insensitive and unreasonable. (I'm sure you'll probably make us like him in further chapters but for now me no like especially that TRIXIE *pulls a face*). Anyway dude theirs quite a few other good points I could write down but I've got to go, I'll discuss them with you later in person ciao xx
Hey Shoeka, thought I'd review since I'm really depressed and grouchy *pulls a face*. Anyways, for starters I love Anna hahahahhahahahha! she's legend just legend dude leggeennd but anyways *clears throat and looks intellectual* enough with me being compunctious, actually I looked that word up and it means causing or feeling compunction; regretful or (its a noun) a feeling of remorse, guilt or regret. Hm...so basically the funky little girl with a doll and creased forehead with also blinking eyes is telling our beloved polly or gwyntallia (whichever one you prefer your the author not me :P) that she should feel remorseful? Wow I can't believe I just spent 5 minutes researching that and coming to that conclusion when she's already said this in her previous sentence. Hehe shame on me not polly. But I like polly I think she has bef (well sometimes) at the moment I'm kinda scouting for people that I hate and want you to kill, like Tom from Catharsis grh. But anyways I've got a question, how did she manage to close the door THEN run underneath the bed in time so that the old man didn't see? I would think hypothetically that by doing so the old man would wake up straight away since it was such a loud sound and see her. Another thing as well, what was the point of slamming the door anyways? the old man was asleep and lets say that for the previous point he took a longer time to wake up allowing her the chance to dive underneath the bed out of the view then wasn't there no need for her to slam the door in the first place? Why didn't she sneak out of the window (which she inevitably did anyway) at the very beginning? That way he wouldn't have woken up since it took him longer to wake up when she slammed the door and that way the others would not have been alerted. *Takes a deep sigh* Ok thats it I've reverted back to not liking Polly first in the previous chapter she didn't clock on about the fact that man had said saber?slater?skater? name when she hadn't mentioned him but noticed when he was bleeding? Just plain ludicrous! (I like that word hehe) but onto the good points. I really liked the imagery you used and I particularly think that one scene where she's fatigued and refuses anyone's help is very well written. I love how she keeps thinking of her own mother in what she would do in that situation, how she would handle it and how she should use 'soft words and a sweet tongue' to get her point across. Its interesting because its apparent that she has a lot of feelings that she wishes to express, a lot of words that she wishes to speak but due to being considered a 'child' and having to act like a mature young woman she is foregoing all her emotions and instead is bottling them up. Sounds rather draining, I loved the build up that you've used in term of this throughout the previous chapters. For instance, with Timothy how when she was angry with him she showed her disdain not by anger but self constraint and the 'sweet words' just as how her mother had instructed her. I loved it when she lost her cool and lashed out at Caleb since he was being a prat and completely insensitive and unreasonable. (I'm sure you'll probably make us like him in further chapters but for now me no like especially that TRIXIE *pulls a face*). Anyway dude theirs quite a few other good points I could write down but I've got to go, I'll discuss them with you later in person ciao xx
9/22/2010 c5 superficialowl
Poor Polly is not having a good day. I wonder how Timothy is involved in all this but I like how you are slowly introducing the different characters.
Poor Polly is not having a good day. I wonder how Timothy is involved in all this but I like how you are slowly introducing the different characters.
9/21/2010 c5 We Used To Wait
Aight, aight. Right, so like, I'm sorry for missing last chapter. I dunno what happened... I saved the email, promising myself to review, but then it got deleted! What do ya know!
(It's really not my fault.)
You know, I just finished watching a couple of Salad Fingers vids before I read this chappie, and lemme tell ya... kinda awkward switching gears and mindsets. Like like, I'd feel kinda scared for my life while watching the green guy, but I feel like I need to "feel" mean while reading your story. Cos, you know, there are a lot of cruel people in your stories. I'm kind of bracing myself, is what I'm saying. Wait... have you even heard of Salad Fingers?
After noticing the fact that a MEAN mc male is missing from your story atm, I will have to ask... is there gonna be one? So far all the males seem nice. Which I love. Who dislikes a nice guy... But your stories usually have the prettily cruel ones.
Do you like Thai food? I'm eating some now!
I really adore last chapz. Young men in black capes and masks jumping from great heights and ledges really turn me on. And make me think "hehehehee."
And might I add, your writing is so exciting, that even during parts where there is no dialogue for a while, you still manage to keep my attention. It's kinda difficult to do that for the readers, and as you probably notice, too many stories have too much dialogue. Only because it's more exiting. But there needs to be a balance, and you got that down.. or do you know what I mean? I'm sure SOMEone's told you by now.
Anyway... well it was nice reading something from you again! And I'm patiently waiting for Predator Q&A to be posted.
No HURRY. k bye
i luv u...
Aight, aight. Right, so like, I'm sorry for missing last chapter. I dunno what happened... I saved the email, promising myself to review, but then it got deleted! What do ya know!
(It's really not my fault.)
You know, I just finished watching a couple of Salad Fingers vids before I read this chappie, and lemme tell ya... kinda awkward switching gears and mindsets. Like like, I'd feel kinda scared for my life while watching the green guy, but I feel like I need to "feel" mean while reading your story. Cos, you know, there are a lot of cruel people in your stories. I'm kind of bracing myself, is what I'm saying. Wait... have you even heard of Salad Fingers?
After noticing the fact that a MEAN mc male is missing from your story atm, I will have to ask... is there gonna be one? So far all the males seem nice. Which I love. Who dislikes a nice guy... But your stories usually have the prettily cruel ones.
Do you like Thai food? I'm eating some now!
I really adore last chapz. Young men in black capes and masks jumping from great heights and ledges really turn me on. And make me think "hehehehee."
And might I add, your writing is so exciting, that even during parts where there is no dialogue for a while, you still manage to keep my attention. It's kinda difficult to do that for the readers, and as you probably notice, too many stories have too much dialogue. Only because it's more exiting. But there needs to be a balance, and you got that down.. or do you know what I mean? I'm sure SOMEone's told you by now.
Anyway... well it was nice reading something from you again! And I'm patiently waiting for Predator Q&A to be posted.
No HURRY. k bye
i luv u...