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3/22/2010 c1 harrow
gangster. 'no one had thought the have it fixed.'
3/22/2010 c1 mathew
there isnt much sense of ibe mood in the work. i guess its meant to be about a setting , but maybe combining more relevance of the creaking floorboards which maybe we creating suspense also further developed with the 'haunted aspect' of the bathroom, just to have the suspense ruined with spiders and its victims. The use of 'now only an iron skeleton' and 'bone-chilling' creates a sense of hollowness which later on is improved with the dull rustle of leaves. However, 'it was a nightmare come to life' seems very cliched and maybe a better word selection could be used? I like the ending too, the self reflection makes a powerful ending. I guess, try and work on keeping one sense of mood throughout?
3/22/2010 c1 herman
if this piece was for description, then well done there.

really good descriptions and a nice story with it.
3/22/2010 c1 lindallama
EHEEHEEHEEHEE ILOVEIT.

english lesson much... :)
2/17/2010 c1 4HighOnBrokenWings
"Dozens of tiny spiders’ eyes. And the pleading eyes of their victims."

"Flowers smiled at the sun and danced in the wind"

The imagery in this description piece is amazing! Wow. Yeah. That was so good, and I love the ending, it doesnt just end plainly. Very well done :)

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