for Funeral Gown9/20/2012 c1 
4ShadowJunkie
Oh god, HAHAHAHA! I remember doing something like this when I was bored (and I think I was also mad at that time...or something). Morbid and dark, love this, and love how you can spark entertainment and interest with only a few words. Emmaline kind of reminded me of Elizabeth Bathory. I'm not sure why, but she did. And damn that's creepy. Like the name Emmaline as well. :) It fits.
Only complaint would be - this seems so unfinished! The reason! What could be the reason! Still like it. Hell, it's shortness probably contributes to its appeal. Guh work!
4ShadowJunkieOh god, HAHAHAHA! I remember doing something like this when I was bored (and I think I was also mad at that time...or something). Morbid and dark, love this, and love how you can spark entertainment and interest with only a few words. Emmaline kind of reminded me of Elizabeth Bathory. I'm not sure why, but she did. And damn that's creepy. Like the name Emmaline as well. :) It fits.
Only complaint would be - this seems so unfinished! The reason! What could be the reason! Still like it. Hell, it's shortness probably contributes to its appeal. Guh work!
3/18/2011 c1 2MoonBeauty
I wonder why she killed him... No doubt the woman is not in her right mind. She even dressed up for his funeral before it happened. :) Nice piece.
2MoonBeautyI wonder why she killed him... No doubt the woman is not in her right mind. She even dressed up for his funeral before it happened. :) Nice piece.
5/16/2010 c1 12lovely-fox-xo
That was awfully short D: Quite interesting, yet, quite tragic. I wish it was longer, and there was more of a backstory, at least.. but maybe it was meant to remain short, so there's an air of mystery, I suppose. Ah, well, I liked it.
12lovely-fox-xoThat was awfully short D: Quite interesting, yet, quite tragic. I wish it was longer, and there was more of a backstory, at least.. but maybe it was meant to remain short, so there's an air of mystery, I suppose. Ah, well, I liked it.
5/4/2010 c1 1complicatedshadows
Unsolicited review (since first-person agreement is always a good sign.)
I got Charlotte Corday vibes from this-was that the kind of image you intended? If so, good job on that! I thought this was well-described and succinct, and it had the appropriate amount of detail about the characters - describing Emma as 'loud' and 'vivacious' gave me the blush-of-health killer a la Corday vibes, which is an unexpected image (typically death is quiet and, well, deathlike.)
One slight critique: You have a lot of semicolons that aren't entirely necessary. I think the story would scan a little better if you split most of the semicoloned sentences into two separate sentences. The only one I'd say to keep would be the 'she clutched,' since your object in the first clause carries over as the subject in the second. The rest don't feel linked enough to require the semicolon, as a matter of taste.
Hope this was helpful!
1complicatedshadowsUnsolicited review (since first-person agreement is always a good sign.)
I got Charlotte Corday vibes from this-was that the kind of image you intended? If so, good job on that! I thought this was well-described and succinct, and it had the appropriate amount of detail about the characters - describing Emma as 'loud' and 'vivacious' gave me the blush-of-health killer a la Corday vibes, which is an unexpected image (typically death is quiet and, well, deathlike.)
One slight critique: You have a lot of semicolons that aren't entirely necessary. I think the story would scan a little better if you split most of the semicoloned sentences into two separate sentences. The only one I'd say to keep would be the 'she clutched,' since your object in the first clause carries over as the subject in the second. The rest don't feel linked enough to require the semicolon, as a matter of taste.
Hope this was helpful!
2/17/2010 c1 Srahil
Ooh, I like how dark it is. I also like the imagery, and I like murder.
Each word seems to add to the story. I like that too. Since I usually read things with more words than are really necessary, It's a nice change, and has great effect.
I'm a bit confused though... So her footsteps are normally loud like her personality and the reason they didn't match her that night was because she was being quiet?
Ooh, I like how dark it is. I also like the imagery, and I like murder.
Each word seems to add to the story. I like that too. Since I usually read things with more words than are really necessary, It's a nice change, and has great effect.
I'm a bit confused though... So her footsteps are normally loud like her personality and the reason they didn't match her that night was because she was being quiet?