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2/20/2010 c2 30sophiesix
Hi again from the review marathon! (link in my profile)

aw, Cisco is awesome. I really liked his sneaky scene, it was drool worthy. Why did we have to spend so much time with the track girls when we could've been with him? :D Cut ot teh chase girl! maybe its just that i'm not so into runing, or maybe its Lita's boredom with it rubbing off on me. BTW, I like how she isn't the best or teh worst in the team, thats nice for balance.

And we get some backstory! yeah! It was good to meet the brother too.

Looking forward to teh plot progressing to teh criminals... i have a feeling there might be an interesting bad dude or too in there somewhere ;)
2/20/2010 c1 sophiesix
Hi from the review marathon! (link in my profile)

Great tight description of the action at the beginning there. Sucked me right in.“I breathe, making my muscles honey” awesome metaphor

The next section has great characterisation, (““I just did.” Lol, love it! )but of course it feels a little slower. the sentences structure sometimes gets a little repetitive, with a lot starting with I, and a few setences seem a bit unnecessary, like when she's splashing water on her face etc, it doesn't add much to the story?

But other than that, I really liked this start.

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