for Runaway3/13/2012 c1 Nicole
Please please please please update. I love the very concept and it definitely is going to be thrilling to know what happens next. I love it already.
Please please please please update. I love the very concept and it definitely is going to be thrilling to know what happens next. I love it already.
6/10/2011 c1 buznuz1
liking it so far, but you haven't updated in a year, is this a no go? i hope not because id love for this to continue
liking it so far, but you haven't updated in a year, is this a no go? i hope not because id love for this to continue
11/11/2010 c2 MiidKniight
I enjoy your writing style very much.
I'm interested to find out how she's going to end up soaking wet on the guys door assuming that it is her. I'm not sure wanting her to take on more chores would cause so much aggravation, but I guess the approach would be pretty irritating. It does seem like she was determined to dislike him and any reason would be enough.
Until next time.
I enjoy your writing style very much.
I'm interested to find out how she's going to end up soaking wet on the guys door assuming that it is her. I'm not sure wanting her to take on more chores would cause so much aggravation, but I guess the approach would be pretty irritating. It does seem like she was determined to dislike him and any reason would be enough.
Until next time.
11/2/2010 c2 Scarlett
PLEASE CONTINUE! I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE! *gasp* ... I have bookmarked some stories and I have gotten to the last chapter of all of them. Please do not keep me waiting like they do. It's nerve-wracking! heh. Anyways, REALLY good job! The detail is amazing and I was sucked into it immediately (however u spell it... lol). Please update it as soon as you can because I CRAVE MORE. But seriously, no rush. :3 a story's no good if there's no feeling in it because you rush :3 but yeah this story is awesome... great... fantabulous and i cant wait to keep reading it!
PLEASE CONTINUE! I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE! *gasp* ... I have bookmarked some stories and I have gotten to the last chapter of all of them. Please do not keep me waiting like they do. It's nerve-wracking! heh. Anyways, REALLY good job! The detail is amazing and I was sucked into it immediately (however u spell it... lol). Please update it as soon as you can because I CRAVE MORE. But seriously, no rush. :3 a story's no good if there's no feeling in it because you rush :3 but yeah this story is awesome... great... fantabulous and i cant wait to keep reading it!
3/9/2010 c2 
13blurrylights
A common mistake many authors make is by giving too much background info right away. You should start a story by showing, not telling.
I was intrigued by the premise of this story with the prologue, because it started off right in the middle of all the action. I was curious to see the interaction between the girl and the man who let her in. Instead, I'm faced with a whole bunch of background info, while well written and slightly interesting, is just words.
A better way to give the background info would be by showing her personality through her interactions with him, and maybe flashback-ing then. By squeezing it all in one chapter, it makes it somewhat boring and monotonous to read.
Also, your summary is so very interesting. I honestly would rather have not known ANYTHING about the girl, and would have liked to get to know her through her time with him. If he doesn't get to know anything, why should we? You essentially just stripped a character full of promise and intrigue down to nothing.
However, I did mention earlier that I did like the writing. It was sweet and was well-written..I just felt like it was placed in the wrong place. Maybe this chapter would work better as an epilogue? I would build her up with intrigue until the final breaking point...and then BAM. I feel like that would be more effective, and actually a pretty awesome ending.
Anyway, I'm sorry if this sounded harsh. I meant no harm...it's just that I love your writing, and I didn't feel like this did you, or the piece, justice. :D Update soon!
13blurrylightsA common mistake many authors make is by giving too much background info right away. You should start a story by showing, not telling.
I was intrigued by the premise of this story with the prologue, because it started off right in the middle of all the action. I was curious to see the interaction between the girl and the man who let her in. Instead, I'm faced with a whole bunch of background info, while well written and slightly interesting, is just words.
A better way to give the background info would be by showing her personality through her interactions with him, and maybe flashback-ing then. By squeezing it all in one chapter, it makes it somewhat boring and monotonous to read.
Also, your summary is so very interesting. I honestly would rather have not known ANYTHING about the girl, and would have liked to get to know her through her time with him. If he doesn't get to know anything, why should we? You essentially just stripped a character full of promise and intrigue down to nothing.
However, I did mention earlier that I did like the writing. It was sweet and was well-written..I just felt like it was placed in the wrong place. Maybe this chapter would work better as an epilogue? I would build her up with intrigue until the final breaking point...and then BAM. I feel like that would be more effective, and actually a pretty awesome ending.
Anyway, I'm sorry if this sounded harsh. I meant no harm...it's just that I love your writing, and I didn't feel like this did you, or the piece, justice. :D Update soon!
3/9/2010 c2 2renegade01
awesome. i like the background info given, there was lots of it but it didn't make the chapter tedious. it'll be interesting to see how she ended up before the dude in the prologue. keep it coming. ;)
2renegade01awesome. i like the background info given, there was lots of it but it didn't make the chapter tedious. it'll be interesting to see how she ended up before the dude in the prologue. keep it coming. ;)
3/3/2010 c1 animegirl214
oh~ "Hi."
ahh, like it so far! seems like an interesting story! please update soon! :D
oh~ "Hi."
ahh, like it so far! seems like an interesting story! please update soon! :D
3/1/2010 c1 11Jessiquie
oh... I so wish there was more to this (already that is). Excellent begining, I'm so intrigued as to what happens and who she is, and who he is and everything. Love your description too. Great job!
11Jessiquieoh... I so wish there was more to this (already that is). Excellent begining, I'm so intrigued as to what happens and who she is, and who he is and everything. Love your description too. Great job!
2/25/2010 c1 2renegade01
great beginning. i'm definately interested in reading more. keep it coming. ;)
2renegade01great beginning. i'm definately interested in reading more. keep it coming. ;)
2/24/2010 c1 13blurrylights
The description is SO wonderful. I am so very excited to get to know the characters. They seem so interesting, and your summary is excellent.
Update soon!
13blurrylightsThe description is SO wonderful. I am so very excited to get to know the characters. They seem so interesting, and your summary is excellent.
Update soon!