for The View from Santa Rita Street11/7/2012 c1 Guest
This is amazing, and beautiful. Damn, this is just so amazing. :)
This is amazing, and beautiful. Damn, this is just so amazing. :)
12/14/2010 c1 
4Shannyn
This was beautiful and amazing. I have a bad habit of skimming when I first start reading fp stories, maybe just to see if it can catch me. Yours did by the 2nd paragraph. I caught myself floundering in your abstractions (if that's what they are), and wanted to go back and reread thoroughly, and I enjoyed every millisecond of it.
Wow. Your language is honestly. so. beautiful. I enjoyed every line and phrase-the setup worked so well, and the point of view, her voice, and how you started and ended made me love it. I never felt like skimming anything, b/c you provided just enough, and in beautiful language that never overwhelmed.
I think the only thing that tripped me up a few times is tensing. I'm not sure that it always works, (and you can probably get rid of some "had"s,) but you maneuver it extremely well for such a structure of story-telling (if that makes sense haha b/c obviously she's going back and forth between memories and a present moment).
Thank you so much for sharing this :) and writing it!
4ShannynThis was beautiful and amazing. I have a bad habit of skimming when I first start reading fp stories, maybe just to see if it can catch me. Yours did by the 2nd paragraph. I caught myself floundering in your abstractions (if that's what they are), and wanted to go back and reread thoroughly, and I enjoyed every millisecond of it.
Wow. Your language is honestly. so. beautiful. I enjoyed every line and phrase-the setup worked so well, and the point of view, her voice, and how you started and ended made me love it. I never felt like skimming anything, b/c you provided just enough, and in beautiful language that never overwhelmed.
I think the only thing that tripped me up a few times is tensing. I'm not sure that it always works, (and you can probably get rid of some "had"s,) but you maneuver it extremely well for such a structure of story-telling (if that makes sense haha b/c obviously she's going back and forth between memories and a present moment).
Thank you so much for sharing this :) and writing it!
3/17/2010 c1 Elle Winters 9
Well this certainly makes you think. It's written in such a philosophical manner that it clouds and dulls the thoughts so that you really have to push to extrapolate more from the story. Well written, but not the kind of stories I really enjoy reading.
Well this certainly makes you think. It's written in such a philosophical manner that it clouds and dulls the thoughts so that you really have to push to extrapolate more from the story. Well written, but not the kind of stories I really enjoy reading.
2/25/2010 c1 1Sylvia Marri
Whoever your friend is, tell say that he or she wouldn't be making a mistake about sponsoring your works. :) You have great promise as a writer. You made me want to seriously write again. Before I stumbled upon Half and Half just a few days ago, I just rummaged through all my emails (yes, I have many) where I kept most of my drafts and posted it on my anonymous blog. After reading Ivy and Migs' story, you've inspired me to seriously look into my craft again.
Congrats on the SKoW award by the way! :) That was a really awesome boost. I'll drop a more appropriate review on your works when I'm no longer on a deadline at work haha. I just want you to know that you got a supporter here when your compilation is out ;)
1Sylvia MarriWhoever your friend is, tell say that he or she wouldn't be making a mistake about sponsoring your works. :) You have great promise as a writer. You made me want to seriously write again. Before I stumbled upon Half and Half just a few days ago, I just rummaged through all my emails (yes, I have many) where I kept most of my drafts and posted it on my anonymous blog. After reading Ivy and Migs' story, you've inspired me to seriously look into my craft again.
Congrats on the SKoW award by the way! :) That was a really awesome boost. I'll drop a more appropriate review on your works when I'm no longer on a deadline at work haha. I just want you to know that you got a supporter here when your compilation is out ;)
2/25/2010 c1 misery sister
I like how you incorporate part of your culture in the words and things. It was smooth and gave a better setting. It's always nice to have non-white characters or stories set in other countries.:)
I like how you incorporate part of your culture in the words and things. It was smooth and gave a better setting. It's always nice to have non-white characters or stories set in other countries.:)