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for Fabula Crepusculum

3/28/2011 c1 conleyswifey
very well written. I understood it very well and dusk has always been my favorite time of day. I find the night to be so peaceful. You did a great job with the descriptions and it formed an almost awe inspiring picture in my mind. Great job!
3/20/2011 c1 2dragonflydreamer
I love the word choice. It creates such vivid images and establishes a tone of wonder and awe.

Also, a very interesting topic. I like how you take a common cliche and turn it upside down. I love when poems change the way I view things.

[Tell the world, o Knight,

To believe in the darkness

For it holds answers] I loved those lines.

My one suggestion would be to keep an eye on the flow. A lot of lines were very self-contained and there was a pause at the end of them too often, which made this a little chunky to read. That's a shame, because internally in the lines, the words flowed well together.

~Sparkles from the Review Marathon (link in profile)
3/19/2011 c1 2Orin Forever Crimson
This story-poem was very well written and you kept to form quite well. I also like to explore the concept that dusk is the beginning rather than the end. Of course, that might have to do with the fact that I would be largely nocturnal if not for the fact that the rest of the world functions during the day and forces me to as well.


Orin a.k.a JLL
3/10/2010 c1 3Dragonette101
Nice! u go gurl

k? I luvd the poem BUT kida hard 2 understand im like what?

no offence

i like the way you have described the enviornment (if thats correct according to you)

But totally its really gud.

Keep it up! :)

P.S: try to reveiw mine as well (please)
3/8/2010 c1 2hez23
wow i understand it its well wow your really good i loved it x
3/8/2010 c1 82steffxnie
Very nice haikus! They flow wonderfully and I think you did a great job phrasing the words. The similes and metaphors add more to the images and I love the expressions here. It's hard to fit in the words because of the syllables, but you've managed it well. A lovely piece. Keep writing!
3/8/2010 c1 3Skinny.Pig
Very lovely poem, I'll be sure to add it to my list. :)

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