
4/16/2010 c1
2dragonflydreamer
Wow, beautiful presentation of this topic. It's a pretty common idea to work with, but it's hardly recognizable with how much you've done with it.
I love the voice that this has. I can't quite pinpoint what creates it, but two things that stood out to be were the repetitions in the second stanza and how you start two stanzas with "And." I can't really think of an adjective to describe the tone it creates, but it's very distinct and fits the piece well.
[words racing over each other in no better light/than the human colours in black and white] I love those lines.
~Sparkles from the Review Marathon (link in profile)

Wow, beautiful presentation of this topic. It's a pretty common idea to work with, but it's hardly recognizable with how much you've done with it.
I love the voice that this has. I can't quite pinpoint what creates it, but two things that stood out to be were the repetitions in the second stanza and how you start two stanzas with "And." I can't really think of an adjective to describe the tone it creates, but it's very distinct and fits the piece well.
[words racing over each other in no better light/than the human colours in black and white] I love those lines.
~Sparkles from the Review Marathon (link in profile)
3/8/2010 c1
1name redacted
I love the first verse, and the repitition in the second. Highly relatable concept, and very well phrased.

I love the first verse, and the repitition in the second. Highly relatable concept, and very well phrased.