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12/24/2012 c1 19Illiterate-genius
this really is beautiful. well written. and, by the way, i do hope you find the one you dream of. (:
3/12/2010 c1 5Baby Tumbles
"My love is the tide, your soul is the shores..."

A line made if pure awesome.

The entire poem was amazingly touching.

As i kept reading i could feel the longing and the immense amount of love wrapping around my heart.

Just incredible.

-GBSEEM
3/11/2010 c1 5LilyWolfe
what an ending...i love that last line!

It's a good poem, lovely romance and humour too but the two go together well. one does not distract from the other, well done!

i really liked "playing hid-and-seek with the day" I thought that created beautiful imagery. it was loving and playful. very cute.

i think twoards the middle you lost the flow a little bit, the lines are a bit long and the stanzas are muddled. it's not as clear to understand as the rest but actually what is said is very moving and profoud. perhaps if you edit, work on that bit.

i like the use of slang too, it brings it a little closer to the reader (particularly if they are young) and is indicative of the "speaker".

i also like how it tells a story, how love is a wonderful thing but must also be given time to work on. that she needs this poem as reassurance of his devotion. that he's able to express his feelings and to put out the fire of untrust and fear in her heart. I liked it a lot!

look forward to reading a lot more of your stuff, and the edited version if you decide to do it!

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