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4/16/2012 c1 277electrical moon
Great poem!
5/6/2010 c1 1k+Faithless Juliet
I loved how you focussed this on how stagnant and overwhelming summer and heat can be, and the continual returning to the paper and the writing, it drags the reader in and out of time and space. Good job.

Much love

Juliet.
3/27/2010 c1 871no.peace.los.angeles
Wow, this is gorgeous and so my favorite type of poetry, because I always think of poetry as taking the mundane and turning it into something beautiful. The line "I can't swallow or see the ocean" took my breath away. Amazing. Wow. Keep writing! :)
3/24/2010 c1 72Genevieve Straessley
Finding poetry in unexceptional moments continues to remain one of your strong suits. I especially like the scene shift from the bar to the apartment as it sounds like the speaker is not in control of his/her own motions, but rather is being guided by inevitability. Very solid feelings in this poem, good work.
3/18/2010 c1 Isca
"Cheap yellow notebooks." It's funny how some of the best writing is often located in "cheap" places.

"Like freezing stars falling." That reminded me of freezing rain. Lovely simile.

"I can't swallow or see the ocean." Powerful ending!

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