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for The Demon on my Chest

3/21/2010 c1 3Eternity Awaits Us
Wow. This was concentrated awsome put on a page. It was fast and frantic sounding when it needed to be, but then it slowed way down to make the previous chaos hit even harder.

I am confused on just one thing though. The father. Was the father the husband, or did she kill two people?

Anyway, thank you so much for the great read, this is definately going on my favorites list!
3/20/2010 c1 Its tat
Wow, once again you write with enviable prowess.

Middle is rushed though for obvious reasons since i KNOW that that must be over the limit.

Loved the line that worst of all he smelt like the man she once loved.

Didn't like the repetition of said line it was powerful as a loner.

thought the end bit was superfluos you didnt explore the father character enough for us to care that he died at the end whereas the killing of the husband ends the story with a nice flourish.

The dream sequence tying into the splitting of personalities and the way you conveyed it was excellent.

Loved the ending with the title.

"And maybe life is full of only rainbows and happiness. Maybe life is all dove, no beast. 'Cause that's ever true."

Ever true? hmm IDK i dont like it but, if you do...

Anyways all of that is my opinion, feel free to ignore. Brilliant, just to reiterate ;)

soz for spelling mistakes im in a total rush cos of how much work i have to to tonight.

See you, and yes, I expect a reply to this :D

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