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6/14/2010 c6 7Tropical.Kiwi.375
I love it so far! Keep up the great work! I love reading these kinds of stories and my favorites are Neal and Roan. I look forward to be reading more!
4/14/2010 c3 12lianoid
Spelling/Grammar – First paragraph, second-last sentence: “We wore an heir of authority...” Is it supposed to be “She wore...”? Third paragraph, there are a lot of sentences beginning with “she”. Try changing it to something else. Thirteenth paragraph, second sentence: “Would she have not gained her footing in time...sending varies items flying...” Change “varies” to “various”. Fourteenth paragraph, second-last sentence: “...and the smile on her smile...” Change the second “smile” to “face”. Eighteenth paragraph, last sentence. It doesn’t read properly, I think you’re missing a few words. Twenty-seventh paragraph, last sentence: “The dread that filled her now was strong that she had...” Change “strong” to “stronger”. – There are a few more sentences with missing or mixed up words, so another read through of this chapter is recommended.

Other – I really liked this chapter. It was dark and foreboding. I would like to know more about Rayna soon though, the suspense is killing me! Upload the next chapter soon, or else I’ll start throwing daggers at Neal as well. ;)
4/8/2010 c2 lianoid
Don't leave me hanging like that! Come on upload the next chapter! I can't wait to read what happens next.
4/8/2010 c2 ItswhatIdobest
Awesome chapter!
4/8/2010 c1 lianoid
Wow. You have created an amazing world. The setting and characters are wonderful, and everything is so vivid. I can't wait to read the next chapter. You are a very talented writer, however I think you should go back and edit your work a bit. There are some words mixed up/missing/not making sense, and a bit of tense confusion. Overall though it was wonderful! Please upload the next chapter! ^_^
4/8/2010 c1 ItswhatIdobest
I really like this.. =)

As for your author's note, I love Tolkien's works too. Hes my idol. (Is it okay that your idol is dead?) =)

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