for Gone4/11/2010 c1 
22lipleaf
While I typically enjoy repetition, I felt that this one was a bit overdone. Repeating it at the end of each stanza just made it feel old after a while and monotonous. Maybe just every other stanza or so. I also thought it was a bit bland. Simplicity can be nice, but this is a little too plain. I can't feel a lot of emotion. Perhaps if you added more detail.
22lipleafWhile I typically enjoy repetition, I felt that this one was a bit overdone. Repeating it at the end of each stanza just made it feel old after a while and monotonous. Maybe just every other stanza or so. I also thought it was a bit bland. Simplicity can be nice, but this is a little too plain. I can't feel a lot of emotion. Perhaps if you added more detail.