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11/29/2013 c1 while-it-rains
Lovely. Beautifly written.
10/31/2012 c1 6Secretmuch
It's so short but incredibly written, with the most amazing imagery and the way it flows is wonderful. Safe to say I love it.
7/4/2011 c1 Our Lady Silence
It was beautiful, thanks.
5/17/2011 c1 Sepulchred
So, you know, HOLLY GOD DAMN HELL, THIS IS AMAZING. That's all.
12/23/2010 c1 4GrannyP
Okay... so... I don't know why I never read this until now... but I just did... and then I read the reviews to see what other people thought before I got all analytical (like I tend to do!).

So my initial thought was "HUH?" because its in the "Love" category but I totally saw it as something a bit more sad... why is it sad to me? Maybe I missed the point completely. But, no, really... the "I" at the beginning who was just born threw me off because obviously this guy has just fallen madly in love with "her", I assume, and "she" is the one creating the world for him.. so what happened to "me"? "My" image stains the earth at the end... because of "her"...

So I guess I was picturing a guy falling in love with someone other than "me" (hence the sad part) but it makes me realize that I am alive even without him... or it could be, like, these are my parents falling in love or something.

Wow, way to make me think and be all create and great use of pronouns! I love when writing opens up thinking!

Now please excuse all the stupidity I just displayed!
8/24/2010 c1 82Solemn Coyote
This is absolutely wonderful. Everything, from the line 'velocity vanished' to the hand-wave at the end, gathers up this whooshing gust of emotion and drives it down on the reader so that, at the end, he's standing there squall-struck and wondering what it was he read.

I would critique this if it was within my ability to do so, but the most I can muster up here is "slightly insufficiently perfect." Please do keep writing.

-sc
7/6/2010 c1 5cuzimaw3som317
that was beautiful.
6/28/2010 c1 7talktome
So sweet. Really beautiful, too. The contrast between all the pretty language and the mundane things like bacteria, calculus, Macy's and reality television was nicely done.

Thanks for sharing!
6/25/2010 c1 JuniperRhose
Brilliant. This read like a song.
5/30/2010 c1 30YasuRan
Beneath all the intelellectual, slightly highbrow, imagery, there was this underlying sweetness which attracted me instantly. The depth of the love, a far cry from the typical Romeo/Juliet fare, was portrayed in believable light but still with a poetic edge. Loved it.
5/3/2010 c1 mgouda
that was, truly, a gorgeous, breathtaking piece. i loved every word of it.

favorite lines: "So she picked up his threadbare cosmos,/

the nothingness that was now almost/ into galaxies light years away./ She grabbed the strands and wove the world/ back together with her strong arms./ Working the loom with celestial ease,
4/22/2010 c1 35pixy-dizzy
i really loved the way you tied in the notion of creation myths, and 'made' the words communicate these big lofty universal ideas, but also tinged them with the mundane and ironic. favorite line: "and/created reality television. From her fingers flowed/gravity and then bacteria and calculus, and suddenly/He wasn't floating in nothingness anymore." i think there is a bit of unnecessary repetition (especially of derivations of 'silver'), so if you were to revise it ever I'd consider tightening the language a little bit, but overall this is wonderful. you took a brief moment, a second of encapsulated time, and turned it into the universe and that is great.
4/21/2010 c1 Arabea
I really love how creatively you told this story and this emotion. It's more of a moment in time, really. But still. Fabulously done. :)
4/21/2010 c1 wondergirl
gorgeous :)
4/21/2010 c1 8Le Meg
Gorgeous. Great imagery.

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