
8/9/2010 c4 Cybernetic
D'aww, drunk people.
For me, being buzzed is like being really sleepy. Or mebbe I was drunk. Can' remember, but it was a stein.
D'aww, drunk people.
For me, being buzzed is like being really sleepy. Or mebbe I was drunk. Can' remember, but it was a stein.
5/20/2010 c4
1DawnGoddezz
I'm actually really enjoying the story and I can't wait for your next update. I don't mean to sound rude or anything but I don't really think that Seth should be gay or anything... but other than that I am really liking it!

I'm actually really enjoying the story and I can't wait for your next update. I don't mean to sound rude or anything but I don't really think that Seth should be gay or anything... but other than that I am really liking it!
5/17/2010 c4 Eccthlacine
Your summary was very intriguing- the story in an of itself is a cliche, but you phrased it very well, and your chapter titles are always a shock. Plus, I'm always a sucker for the bad guy bit. You've got some grammar and syntax errors here and there, like how the very first word of your story is "your" when it should be "you're". You also change tense too often- stick to either "smile" or "smiled" and "made" or "makes". The colloquial portions of your dialogue are good, but during thought and action the sentences need to maintain proper grammar and spelling- if you're going to use terms like "gunna", at least spell it right. This isn't meant to be a flame, but the obvious and frequent mistakes are the ones that make a story difficult to read, and not at all pleasurable. Good luck with your story! :) I hope to read some new and improved work of yours at some point.
Your summary was very intriguing- the story in an of itself is a cliche, but you phrased it very well, and your chapter titles are always a shock. Plus, I'm always a sucker for the bad guy bit. You've got some grammar and syntax errors here and there, like how the very first word of your story is "your" when it should be "you're". You also change tense too often- stick to either "smile" or "smiled" and "made" or "makes". The colloquial portions of your dialogue are good, but during thought and action the sentences need to maintain proper grammar and spelling- if you're going to use terms like "gunna", at least spell it right. This isn't meant to be a flame, but the obvious and frequent mistakes are the ones that make a story difficult to read, and not at all pleasurable. Good luck with your story! :) I hope to read some new and improved work of yours at some point.
5/17/2010 c4
11dreamercrys
Hehehehe... I KNEW Seth was secretly gay! GO EVAN! And poor Will. He really likes Sam and she is all hooked on his brother. I mean give the poor guy a chance...he cried for her for crying out loud...no pun intended. Can't wait for more! :D

Hehehehe... I KNEW Seth was secretly gay! GO EVAN! And poor Will. He really likes Sam and she is all hooked on his brother. I mean give the poor guy a chance...he cried for her for crying out loud...no pun intended. Can't wait for more! :D
5/17/2010 c4
2hoshiwomezashite
Wow I like your story! The plot itself is really nice, hope you update soon. My only advice to give is, well, proofread. :D I mean, I see a lot of grammatical errors and spelling mistakes. But the story itself is really turning out well. Can't wait for the next chapters. :)

Wow I like your story! The plot itself is really nice, hope you update soon. My only advice to give is, well, proofread. :D I mean, I see a lot of grammatical errors and spelling mistakes. But the story itself is really turning out well. Can't wait for the next chapters. :)
5/16/2010 c4
1surrendertomusic
LOL! So Seth is gay! LOL, didn't see that coming,
I loved it! Can't wait for more! (:

LOL! So Seth is gay! LOL, didn't see that coming,
I loved it! Can't wait for more! (:
5/8/2010 c3
10insane-without-writing
I have one thing to say...GO WILL w00t! hehe I love this story and right now I absolutely love Will.

I have one thing to say...GO WILL w00t! hehe I love this story and right now I absolutely love Will.
5/2/2010 c2
11dreamercrys
I love Sam! She is so funny . I wonder why Matt doesn't like her? I mean a normal not gay guy would very much like running into a cute girl in her bra and undies... Can't wait to see what happens next. :D
The love hate relationships are always the best!

I love Sam! She is so funny . I wonder why Matt doesn't like her? I mean a normal not gay guy would very much like running into a cute girl in her bra and undies... Can't wait to see what happens next. :D
The love hate relationships are always the best!
5/2/2010 c2 darkgurl92
cAm is only 14 and already 5'9
wow..he sure is tall..how sad matt doesn't seem to like her
but mayb he does he's just hiding it..will is such a flirt..hehe
update soon..but i think will does like sam..
cAm is only 14 and already 5'9
wow..he sure is tall..how sad matt doesn't seem to like her
but mayb he does he's just hiding it..will is such a flirt..hehe
update soon..but i think will does like sam..
5/2/2010 c2 crush311
I LOVE THIS!IT makes me smile and giggle to myself lol I know really homo right? but still doesnt gay mean happy?lol
I LOVE THIS!IT makes me smile and giggle to myself lol I know really homo right? but still doesnt gay mean happy?lol