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for Messed Up Mind Games

6/14/2012 c30 K Malik
Right so I finished reading this story about 6 hours and I think and it took me about an hour to accept and get over the events that occurred (the fact the Jake was a total cow -.-). The number of times :O-ed was insane in the last few chapters! It was so gripping and even though I wanted to read it slowly throughout the day, I literally couldn't stop going until I finished! Hats, beanies and hairbands off to you, this was a masterpiece!

Now let me go into how my feelings for the characters changed as I read the story. At first, I was totally pro-Taya. In fact, I was pro-Taya throughout most of the story. She was a strong character who had been through a lot and was just trying to get on with her life after her father more less tipped her world upside down. Taya says something in the 26th chapter I think, about being really kind-hearted, a trait she says she inherited from her mother. Well after she killed Dylan, I think it's safe to say she inherited none of the characteristics her mother had. She had a lot more of her father in her than I thought. She's twisted but that's an understatement...

Jake. Where do I begin with Jake? I HATE HIM. I felt more betrayed than Taya did when I found out he was just playing a messed up mind game with her! I was Team Jake throughout the whole story and I HATED Dylan and I feel awful for it now! Oh how wrong I was...

You rightly said ' It's always the people you'd never expect to do anything or cause you any harm that always seem to be the ones that surprise you the most with everything.' in the epilogue. I learnt that this is very true!

I was convinced that Jake was the good guy and that Dylan was the bad guy. :(

I actually want to read some of this story again seeing as I see Dylan in a completely different light now!

Overall, this story was great and totally unpredictable! I hate it when I'm right about what's going to happen and you provided me with surprise after surprise with each chapter.

Cannot wait to read your next piece of work which I seem to be hooked on before it's even been written ;)
1/10/2012 c25 Tabedin
Bloody hell Vamp, you always like to leave us with a cliff hanger don't you? lol :D
1/8/2012 c24 kups
:O :O omg really looking forward to what happens next! Stories getting a lot more grittier and BLOODier! :O
12/31/2011 c24 Tam
Woooooaah! You got your "mojo" back Vampireprincess! ;D I was actually on the edge of my seat towards then end there you know! Well done!
8/9/2011 c22 Matthew Mckenzie
Thanks for adding another chapter to your story. I did not think the new guy would be Dylan. I can understand Taya not getting on with him, but lets hope things calm down between them. Maybe, just maybe Dylan can be some stability in Taya's life.
8/3/2011 c20 tam
wow, cant wait to see what will happen next! hurry up and write the next chapter!
8/3/2011 c16 Tam
the best chapter so far! It was very gripping!
6/19/2011 c21 Matthew Mckenzie
Will Taya's despair ever end?

Somehow I do not think so. Despite that Taya continues to scar herself, her mind in also scarred by being unable to cope with her dark past. Still it is good she has finally gone to see a psychologist, but to be honest the help will only bring light relief.

I liked the chapter and it was dark in content following up from the previous chapter, where we see how Taya's deals with psychological pain, using physical pain.

I would like more descriptions on the character's thoughts while they commit themselves to events, what were they thinking when they did something, how did they feel, facial expressions perhaps. I like the short description of the psychiatrist Sophie .

I am sure that figure is Jake.
6/16/2011 c21 Ben
Having read this story from the very beginning, I can see and appreciate how much you have progressed as a writer, you're delving into some pretty gripping, dark and controversial stuff and portraying it with good use of imagery. Good job and keep it up, looking forward to the conclusion of the story :) I'm hooked.
6/10/2011 c20 Ben
Another great chapter! can't wait to read what happens next!
6/8/2011 c20 Matthew Mckenzie
Nice work.

An enjoyable chapter for the end of the day. This chapter holds up true to what Messed up mind games can do to someone. It makes me think carefully of the title of the story. To admit, I was wondering what the story had to do with it's title, but until I had read this chapter, things have become a little clearer.

The story is not always about happy friendships and finding love, we have twists and dark sides to this story and the darker side chapter showed us what we have been waiting for.

The description of the breakdown left me clasping my wrist at one point as I imagined Taya holding the scissors to herself. Her reply when she mentions to Ruby that she likes the way red glistens on the silver, was a clever insight into a haunted mind.

I am not sure how Taya pulled herself out of the breakdown so quickly and would have wanted a longer description of Taya's strength.

Keep up the good work.
6/4/2011 c19 Matthew Mckenzie
** Spoiler alert.

I enjoyed the story and I can only hope you will continue your hobby of story writing. To be honest, romance stories isn't my cup of tea and I tend to read non-fiction. Yet, you presented your main character Taya deeply. She seems to be haunted by the tragic murder of her family, and rightly so. I am not sure why Jake is being so secretive and I wonder if it was him who saved you at some point.

I also like the way how Taya's bright young personality still shows and how she has managed to find new friends to help her cope with the uncertainties of life, although I do feel some shame on how Taya treated Kelsie.

The flashbacks, nightmare and remembrances from Taya's dark past was quite enjoyable. Richly described, stating her fear and regret of living through such pain and sorrow, which then lead to the murder of her mother and sister.

I liked the style of keeping the reader in the dark on the following.

Jake's secret, who was he? Why is he fearful of Taya and what does he know of her?

Why did Taya's father turned into such a vile person due to drinking? Lastly will Taya ever form a full loving relationship with Jake?

Some questions may be easier to solve for the reader and perhaps Taya, but to be honest the way Jake is behaving, I feel maybe he just is not right for Taya.

The story is easy to read and the characters stand out, you could get on with them and perhaps their might be some need to describe a bit more about Ruby, apart from her crush on Jake.

Now for some criticisms, though I ll try make them as constructive as I can. Your spelling is top notch that is good, but make sure to check missing or misplaced words, this is because the flow of the story stops if a word is missed out, which turns the reader from trying to understand the scene and ends up thinking about trying to understand what word is missing.

I also feel just a bit more descriptions on character emotions, this is good practice, especially if your in a course on psychology. Still this isnt much of a criticism, it might be down to my taste.

Apart from that, well done on a lovely story. I will keep away from romantic novels, but I ll be interested in your darker fiction.
5/26/2011 c19 u know who
yaaaa how could u leave it on such a cliff hanger? i wanna know the rest! i wanna know his secret! aaaahhhh :)
5/26/2011 c18 Ami bhe
great work! keep it up!
5/26/2011 c17 Benana
Wow i like. The story's getting more and more intense
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