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for Won't You

6/21/2010 c1 67Samurai-Soldier
I think a little more could have been said throughout the entire piece, and as well the metaphors were a bit cliche, but where was realistic honesty I felt from it, so I can't strike it down completely. I'd have to say my favorite portion was verse two, because it seemed to have so much more power and flow than any other part, as basic it was. Cute song, Peace
5/3/2010 c1 Jean-Baptiste
I like the song's simplicity and the suggestion of suffocating and being restrained to the ground that speak directly to the reader. It could make a nice, simple song, with the right beat :3 Of course, that's just about it D: the deeper connection kind of fades away, but that's just my personal opinion. There are many great songs with simple lyrics that still end up to be the best.

As a side note, sorry for not reviewing on the spot D: it was late in the night and my mind wouldn't want to think enough. Time zones really mess you up.

Keep up the great work ^-^ !
5/1/2010 c1 A.J Scarlet
yeah too lazy to sign in. I liked it, though it seemed a bit forced. But it's way better than anything I can do lol.
5/1/2010 c1 23fatbird33

so if this was a poem i would say that it's a little cliche with the whole ocean metaphor, but seeing as how it's a song, it that it could work and be catchy. (I hope that made sense!:)

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