for Stones of Sleep4/10/2011 c1 
4LuxAurorae
That was beautiful and probably the most original work I've ever seen. I loved how things were described with the child as the viewpoint character. It really gave us a unique sense of the world - like a glimmer of a sixth sense that only the child has.
"Though these days he has different dreams, more full of a deathly pallor then not." - I think you meant 'than not' since it's a comparison: more full of a deathly pallor [than] not (full of a deathly pallor).
4LuxAuroraeThat was beautiful and probably the most original work I've ever seen. I loved how things were described with the child as the viewpoint character. It really gave us a unique sense of the world - like a glimmer of a sixth sense that only the child has.
"Though these days he has different dreams, more full of a deathly pallor then not." - I think you meant 'than not' since it's a comparison: more full of a deathly pallor [than] not (full of a deathly pallor).
6/21/2010 c1 4Beatrice Lane
I don't think it needs to be continued. In my opinion, continuances lessen the value of the original story. Like sequels to Disney movies, or archetypes that have been done to death. Although some archetypes need to be written in new ways and end a bit differently, more realistically.
Anyway, this work is completely devoid of error as far as I can see. Great job proofreading! It's so refreshing to read a story on this site free of errors!
This is a truly inspirational piece, full of mystery and enchantment. Beautiful. Tragic. Very deep. It looks the human psyche in the eye and stares down every detail, making one question the validity of the very nature of humankind. Truly interesting.
Keep writing, you have a talent. If I had half your talent, I'd be a rich woman!
Yours,
Katalin Bathory
4Beatrice LaneI don't think it needs to be continued. In my opinion, continuances lessen the value of the original story. Like sequels to Disney movies, or archetypes that have been done to death. Although some archetypes need to be written in new ways and end a bit differently, more realistically.
Anyway, this work is completely devoid of error as far as I can see. Great job proofreading! It's so refreshing to read a story on this site free of errors!
This is a truly inspirational piece, full of mystery and enchantment. Beautiful. Tragic. Very deep. It looks the human psyche in the eye and stares down every detail, making one question the validity of the very nature of humankind. Truly interesting.
Keep writing, you have a talent. If I had half your talent, I'd be a rich woman!
Yours,
Katalin Bathory
5/13/2010 c1 pageleaf
Oh, that's such a brilliant idea! I love it, really. It's very well written, too, and I love that she's mute, and thinks of people in voices, and names them by said voices, and subdivides them based on alto, soprano, tenor...very nice! Really, I like it very much.
Oh, that's such a brilliant idea! I love it, really. It's very well written, too, and I love that she's mute, and thinks of people in voices, and names them by said voices, and subdivides them based on alto, soprano, tenor...very nice! Really, I like it very much.
5/11/2010 c1 3Its a maze of Jaffas
I really like this style writing and your story is different from ones in the past I've read. I don't really have any criticism for you, except, I used to play the flute (a standard one) and I needed to use my tongue to do so, so unless the Japanese flute is different, how did she play...? Although I guess you could train yourself to play with no tongue...I just answered my own question:) Plz continue a sequel!
~Jaffa Maze
3Its a maze of JaffasI really like this style writing and your story is different from ones in the past I've read. I don't really have any criticism for you, except, I used to play the flute (a standard one) and I needed to use my tongue to do so, so unless the Japanese flute is different, how did she play...? Although I guess you could train yourself to play with no tongue...I just answered my own question:) Plz continue a sequel!
~Jaffa Maze