for Jack's First Job The Killer Is Born5/5/2010 c1 
16Howle
Just...Great. You've got a great story going. Just ambiguous enough to be cool and concrete enough to be discernable. It's hilarious on some levels and thought provoking on others. Good job!
16HowleJust...Great. You've got a great story going. Just ambiguous enough to be cool and concrete enough to be discernable. It's hilarious on some levels and thought provoking on others. Good job!
5/5/2010 c1 32Shelley Anderson
I love the last line! We said something similar at the dinner table tonight(my sister and I have odd conversations). I liked Jack's attitude about his actions.
I especially love the lines, "Waves of flesh roll over/ The lumpy mattress of the cemetery."
Very well done as usual, I see no mistakes to point out.
32Shelley AndersonI love the last line! We said something similar at the dinner table tonight(my sister and I have odd conversations). I liked Jack's attitude about his actions.
I especially love the lines, "Waves of flesh roll over/ The lumpy mattress of the cemetery."
Very well done as usual, I see no mistakes to point out.