
6/1/2013 c1
4Arethusa Cyberia
I love the way you just spin out these brief glimpses of life that contain SO MUCH in such a wonderfully flowing stream of thought.

I love the way you just spin out these brief glimpses of life that contain SO MUCH in such a wonderfully flowing stream of thought.
8/5/2011 c1
2theDJK
God, everything about this story I love. I wish could take part of something like this. April sounds like the perfect girl in my eyes.
Thank you for this!

God, everything about this story I love. I wish could take part of something like this. April sounds like the perfect girl in my eyes.
Thank you for this!
7/3/2011 c1 marshmallow7
wow, you are a stunning writer. i love your descriptions and the way everything kinda seems hazy and lolling. i love this so much.
wow, you are a stunning writer. i love your descriptions and the way everything kinda seems hazy and lolling. i love this so much.
3/18/2011 c1
4SucculentAmbush
I really liked this. The looped structured, the characters, how you handled the stories told. There's a very nostalgic feel to the entire thing. :)

I really liked this. The looped structured, the characters, how you handled the stories told. There's a very nostalgic feel to the entire thing. :)
1/11/2011 c1 Zethoa
Another beautiful story. Especially liked that it's trans-lit, since there's little to none of that on this site (despite prolific slash). I really ought to write some... haha. Too damn lazy. But I digress, that was lovely, and I REALLY like your writing style. A lot.
Another beautiful story. Especially liked that it's trans-lit, since there's little to none of that on this site (despite prolific slash). I really ought to write some... haha. Too damn lazy. But I digress, that was lovely, and I REALLY like your writing style. A lot.
9/15/2010 c1 S
I fucking love this, I could see it all like a movie in my head.
I fucking love this, I could see it all like a movie in my head.
6/11/2010 c1 B-Rose
I wasn't sure I'd like this story at first but after reading all of it I really enjoyed it. Awesome job!
I wasn't sure I'd like this story at first but after reading all of it I really enjoyed it. Awesome job!
6/4/2010 c1 Ziusura
I'm always too lazy to actually sign in. But my username is the same as up there so if you really want to reply, that's it. I'm trying to actually review the things I read, so here we go.
First of all, I really like your writing style. It's simple, yet it holds a lot of meaning in just a small amount of words. It drew me in and held me.
April felt real. I feel like I can step outside and see her on the sidewalk with her thumb sticking out asking for a ride to wherever the driver's going. Albeit, out west would be a really long drive from where I am, considering it takes about 16hrs just to get to the West Virginia side of Ohio.
Ehren's got a weird name, but he was really sweet. I saw a lot in him through his short, seemingly unrelated anecdotes. The one about the girl he couldn't shoot was a little corny, but I suppose that's everyone's favorite war stories-the sappy ones. Some of the names, Ehren and Anissah, are pretty weird and feel a bit like a fantasy book's names but with less sylables. But then again I live in the middle of nowhere on a mountain, where all the names are 'Bob' and 'Kyle' and several variations of the name 'Sarah'. I think the strangest name we have around here is 'Naomi', so I'm probably not a good judge.
Some of the scenes seemed a bit unneeded, like the 'arsonist' and 'Luke' and such, but it all added onto April's and Ehren's characters so it wasn't totally useless. I really liked the grocery store bathroom scene. It wasn't all 'OMG SHE HAS A PENIS' it was cute, for lack of a better word. Subtle and beautiful. The "'Hank,' drawled April, whose name was one Hank. She held out her hand. 'Pleased to make your acquaintance.'" got to me. It was such a simple line, but it spoke volumes. The various scenes where Ehren is describing April take my breath away. Especially the diet pepsi scene as well as when he describes her twisting her neck a little while she smiles.
I'm one of those people who prefers the tragic, corny, sad endings to corny happy ones. I just like to make myself cry apparently, but this is probably one of my favorites. It doesn't guarantee happiness, but it gives you the hope that these two will stay with each other. Ehren says, "I think I can fall in love with you," and it made me smile. It seemed so natural, and like he really could mean it. And then afterwards with the motel scene of three months later, it gives you the effect that he really is falling in love with her, or is getting there, and April is content and happy. It felt like an actual relationship, and not the movie relationships. They could stay together, or they could break up, but for the moment, they're happy.
Thanks for sharing the story, I really enjoyed it. And hopefully I didn't make your eyes bleed with the sheer wall of text I just typed.
I'm always too lazy to actually sign in. But my username is the same as up there so if you really want to reply, that's it. I'm trying to actually review the things I read, so here we go.
First of all, I really like your writing style. It's simple, yet it holds a lot of meaning in just a small amount of words. It drew me in and held me.
April felt real. I feel like I can step outside and see her on the sidewalk with her thumb sticking out asking for a ride to wherever the driver's going. Albeit, out west would be a really long drive from where I am, considering it takes about 16hrs just to get to the West Virginia side of Ohio.
Ehren's got a weird name, but he was really sweet. I saw a lot in him through his short, seemingly unrelated anecdotes. The one about the girl he couldn't shoot was a little corny, but I suppose that's everyone's favorite war stories-the sappy ones. Some of the names, Ehren and Anissah, are pretty weird and feel a bit like a fantasy book's names but with less sylables. But then again I live in the middle of nowhere on a mountain, where all the names are 'Bob' and 'Kyle' and several variations of the name 'Sarah'. I think the strangest name we have around here is 'Naomi', so I'm probably not a good judge.
Some of the scenes seemed a bit unneeded, like the 'arsonist' and 'Luke' and such, but it all added onto April's and Ehren's characters so it wasn't totally useless. I really liked the grocery store bathroom scene. It wasn't all 'OMG SHE HAS A PENIS' it was cute, for lack of a better word. Subtle and beautiful. The "'Hank,' drawled April, whose name was one Hank. She held out her hand. 'Pleased to make your acquaintance.'" got to me. It was such a simple line, but it spoke volumes. The various scenes where Ehren is describing April take my breath away. Especially the diet pepsi scene as well as when he describes her twisting her neck a little while she smiles.
I'm one of those people who prefers the tragic, corny, sad endings to corny happy ones. I just like to make myself cry apparently, but this is probably one of my favorites. It doesn't guarantee happiness, but it gives you the hope that these two will stay with each other. Ehren says, "I think I can fall in love with you," and it made me smile. It seemed so natural, and like he really could mean it. And then afterwards with the motel scene of three months later, it gives you the effect that he really is falling in love with her, or is getting there, and April is content and happy. It felt like an actual relationship, and not the movie relationships. They could stay together, or they could break up, but for the moment, they're happy.
Thanks for sharing the story, I really enjoyed it. And hopefully I didn't make your eyes bleed with the sheer wall of text I just typed.
5/30/2010 c1
23plumblossom
Really lovely and bleak: your specialty.
And - it's self-contained and complete and not a fragment!

Really lovely and bleak: your specialty.
And - it's self-contained and complete and not a fragment!
5/22/2010 c1
16Creeping Collarbones
I LOVE THIS.
You write really well. It flowed really nice. Ah. I really like it. (:

I LOVE THIS.
You write really well. It flowed really nice. Ah. I really like it. (:
5/21/2010 c1 Chibko
April is an interesting character in that she exudes confidence in her own identity yet at the same time is afraid and uncertain of the world around her. I enjoyed her backstory, as well as Ehren's (involving Luke). The way that you were able to bring together two different perspectives and mesh them together at the end was well done. :) It was nice to see that things turned out well for them, and that they found their way together.
April is an interesting character in that she exudes confidence in her own identity yet at the same time is afraid and uncertain of the world around her. I enjoyed her backstory, as well as Ehren's (involving Luke). The way that you were able to bring together two different perspectives and mesh them together at the end was well done. :) It was nice to see that things turned out well for them, and that they found their way together.