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for The Mistake

9/25/2012 c1 heal me forever
god dis was damn INTENSE *wipes d happy tears* wat r snake bites ?
7/8/2012 c1 Versace-YellowDiamond
love it!
3/30/2012 c1 beavermeadowsbev
I hope that him telling her he loves her guarantee a change of his bad ways and hopefully, he will change back into his true self. I would love seeing that change. Nice story :D
1/15/2012 c1 53Stephlikeswriting
Aw I liked this! I hope Blake treats her well...though he seems like a guys with a really good heart :)
12/7/2011 c1 46SwimmingThroughExistance
7/5/2011 c1 2CityBlackOut
snakebites! *does a little jig*
11/14/2010 c1 2Too Much Info
Okay writing but the originality made it good :)
10/17/2010 c1 Purple123
You gave me tingles haha. good job!
9/3/2010 c1 chocolate and bananas
While I like this story in general, I think it needs some fleshing out. For one, you don't explain her sudden late-night confession - and it's weird that she didn't even notice that she was talking to a guy who's "dead asleep," in contrast to how perceptive she is towards the end, when she notices the implications in his sentences.

I suggest you clear that up.

Try not to make it so monologue-ish, either. You tend to rant and rave on and on, and it would be good if you added some more rhythm to the conversation, like how her hands shuffle, or how her eyes dart to watch him, and stuff like that (you put them already, yes, but I think you need to add more in proportion to the numerous things your characters say.

Otherwise, I think this story has potential, with just a little bit of development in delivery.

- chocolate and bananas.
9/1/2010 c1 1Alinka
I am nursing a box of tissue in front of me now. Such a great story, I was crying over the three-quarter part of the story. Keep up the good work :D
8/15/2010 c1 ghurl00
Aw... Man. I thought Blake would reject her. Was wrong. Love it.
8/11/2010 c1 Eliane Onki
Wow, love this story! :D
8/10/2010 c1 3Gloomy Emo Claws
I absolutely adore that song - and when I saw the email about this story, I immediately thought of this song. Loved how you stayed true to the song, except that I think you gave more hope into this than the song did (the song's pretty depressing, and the guy in the song is douchier haha). Anyways, nicely written, I liked it :)

PS, there's a mistake in your story - I think you meant kiss instead of kids?
8/9/2010 c1 3T.N. Flickinger
This was an amazingly cute story. I loved it. But you could do a lot more with this! If you were to lengthen it and go into more detail I'm sure you'll create a bigger connection with the characters and readers.

~Keep writin'!

Crimson Ash
8/9/2010 c1 16White Rose Blossom
He's perfect, just like this story :P Loved it to pieces! Love their relationship, and how she figured it out.

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