for Diary of a HalfAnorexic6/18/2011 c33 
24July Tarrant
FINALLY! She sees Kat for who she really is. I am so happy that happened. I loved the part with the delivery truck though and teh ending :D.
Also: yes, this is definitely good enough to publish! Please do, and please let us - err, especially me - know if you do. You can count on me buying one, and I will pass the word on to friends of mine as well. It's such an amazing book. I'd love to have it in my collection :)
24July TarrantFINALLY! She sees Kat for who she really is. I am so happy that happened. I loved the part with the delivery truck though and teh ending :D.
Also: yes, this is definitely good enough to publish! Please do, and please let us - err, especially me - know if you do. You can count on me buying one, and I will pass the word on to friends of mine as well. It's such an amazing book. I'd love to have it in my collection :)
6/17/2011 c33 Chrys
I don't mean to sound harsh, but this is not ready for publication. It's quite rough, with a number of deus-ex-machina plot devices and developments that are quickly forgotten after their initial mention. I'd suggest several substantial rewrites, in which you should swap out some of the "dramatic twists" for some much-needed character development. Also, eliminate the switching narrators: it's confusing and ineffective.
If you do decide to try to publish this someday, you should know that you don't "send the story to publishers". Instead, you send submission packages (usually consisting of a query letter, synopsis, and excerpt) to literary agencies, seeking representation. It's almost unheard of for significantly-sized publishing houses to accept unsolicited submissions from unagented, unpublished writers.
I don't mean to sound harsh, but this is not ready for publication. It's quite rough, with a number of deus-ex-machina plot devices and developments that are quickly forgotten after their initial mention. I'd suggest several substantial rewrites, in which you should swap out some of the "dramatic twists" for some much-needed character development. Also, eliminate the switching narrators: it's confusing and ineffective.
If you do decide to try to publish this someday, you should know that you don't "send the story to publishers". Instead, you send submission packages (usually consisting of a query letter, synopsis, and excerpt) to literary agencies, seeking representation. It's almost unheard of for significantly-sized publishing houses to accept unsolicited submissions from unagented, unpublished writers.
5/27/2011 c30 5SuperGirl26
One thing I forgot to add about the chapter you JUST released, is that when you change the point of view, you may want to say "Kat's POV" or "Alex's POV", otherwise it may get sort of confusing. But other than that, great job!
5SuperGirl26One thing I forgot to add about the chapter you JUST released, is that when you change the point of view, you may want to say "Kat's POV" or "Alex's POV", otherwise it may get sort of confusing. But other than that, great job!
5/26/2011 c32 SuperGirl26
That's so sad! I'm curious to see if she gets isabella back... Also, Kat set that whole thing up, right! Keep on writing! I will MOST DEFINETLY keep on reading!
That's so sad! I'm curious to see if she gets isabella back... Also, Kat set that whole thing up, right! Keep on writing! I will MOST DEFINETLY keep on reading!
5/26/2011 c32 24July Tarrant
This absolutely broke my heart! How could they take Isabella from her? I hope they work that out very soon. I have come to really really hate Kat, but that's good for your writing skills, because if you can bring out any emotion in a reader, its a very good sign. (but I'm sure you knew that lol.) That monster!
Still, this was another excelent chapter. I really hope you publish this, as I will certainly buy a copy :D. Also, there is just one nitpicky little detail, but maybe you should consider adding a break line when you switch POVs. It can get a little confusing until the reader realizes who is talking. But again, great job. I love your work.
24July TarrantThis absolutely broke my heart! How could they take Isabella from her? I hope they work that out very soon. I have come to really really hate Kat, but that's good for your writing skills, because if you can bring out any emotion in a reader, its a very good sign. (but I'm sure you knew that lol.) That monster!
Still, this was another excelent chapter. I really hope you publish this, as I will certainly buy a copy :D. Also, there is just one nitpicky little detail, but maybe you should consider adding a break line when you switch POVs. It can get a little confusing until the reader realizes who is talking. But again, great job. I love your work.
5/24/2011 c31 July Tarrant
Ahh more twists! Every time I predict something ,you surprise me. You're sucha great author. I can't wait to see how this all plays out. Great job :D
Ahh more twists! Every time I predict something ,you surprise me. You're sucha great author. I can't wait to see how this all plays out. Great job :D
5/23/2011 c31 5SuperGirl26
This story is one of those where you just want to go in the story and say to the character "HEY, CANT YOU SEE_"? It's so frustrating it makes me want to read on! Lol I love it!
5SuperGirl26This story is one of those where you just want to go in the story and say to the character "HEY, CANT YOU SEE_"? It's so frustrating it makes me want to read on! Lol I love it!
5/22/2011 c6 Ashley T
I really like the detail you put into this chapter - it was great to see interaction with Emily, and how the main character's condition is starting to pull on her relationship with her younger sister.
I really like the detail you put into this chapter - it was great to see interaction with Emily, and how the main character's condition is starting to pull on her relationship with her younger sister.
5/20/2011 c30 24July Tarrant
The thing I love most about your book is that it's so unpredictable. You have such a way with words, twists, charecters- everything. You're an amazing author :)
24July TarrantThe thing I love most about your book is that it's so unpredictable. You have such a way with words, twists, charecters- everything. You're an amazing author :)
4/8/2011 c29 12Lillith Green
I love how I never know where the story is going or what will happen next. You come up with the best twists. I can't believe Jasmine really slept out in the park. I would be way too scared to ever do something like that. At least the worst thing that happened to her was just getting her wallet stolen.
I'm not sure what I think about Kat. She's super-nice to Jasmine, but i don't think I fully trust her. She seems like she could be a bad influence. I am realy curious to find out what her weight loss secret is.
12Lillith GreenI love how I never know where the story is going or what will happen next. You come up with the best twists. I can't believe Jasmine really slept out in the park. I would be way too scared to ever do something like that. At least the worst thing that happened to her was just getting her wallet stolen.
I'm not sure what I think about Kat. She's super-nice to Jasmine, but i don't think I fully trust her. She seems like she could be a bad influence. I am realy curious to find out what her weight loss secret is.
4/8/2011 c28 Lillith Green
This chapter is a roller coaster ride, from the excitement of Isabella's birth, to the fear over her health, to the big fight with Erin.
I'm glad that at least Jasmine has Alex, if I was looking for a boyfriend I would definitely choose him. I wish Erin was more understanding. She needs to see that Jasmine isn't choosing to be anorexic, she is just a victim of a disease that is very difficult to deal with.
I worry that if Jasmine doesn't get any hlep with her eating disorder she will get really sick.
This chapter is a roller coaster ride, from the excitement of Isabella's birth, to the fear over her health, to the big fight with Erin.
I'm glad that at least Jasmine has Alex, if I was looking for a boyfriend I would definitely choose him. I wish Erin was more understanding. She needs to see that Jasmine isn't choosing to be anorexic, she is just a victim of a disease that is very difficult to deal with.
I worry that if Jasmine doesn't get any hlep with her eating disorder she will get really sick.
4/6/2011 c29 24July Tarrant
I did enjoy this chapter :) and yes, I did figure some things would be explained but I still had questions. But, it's all good :) I still found myself mentally begging you to publish this story when you finish it because I absolutely love it. I love the weird, not sure if she can br trusted yet Jasmine is so desperate that she will give almost anything a shot, charecter of Kat. I am wondering why she didn't go to Alex though. (Sorry about all the questions lol, I just came from my writing course so my brain is still in that mode :p also, maybe how Jasmine dropped the baby weight so quickly would be a good meantion lol.) but I still am dying for the next update. 96 pounds and still feeling fat... that's shocking. 87 is even more shocking. its so sad when people get that far :( Chances are, she was already gorgoeus before she became anorexic. But anyway, cant wait for more!
24July TarrantI did enjoy this chapter :) and yes, I did figure some things would be explained but I still had questions. But, it's all good :) I still found myself mentally begging you to publish this story when you finish it because I absolutely love it. I love the weird, not sure if she can br trusted yet Jasmine is so desperate that she will give almost anything a shot, charecter of Kat. I am wondering why she didn't go to Alex though. (Sorry about all the questions lol, I just came from my writing course so my brain is still in that mode :p also, maybe how Jasmine dropped the baby weight so quickly would be a good meantion lol.) but I still am dying for the next update. 96 pounds and still feeling fat... that's shocking. 87 is even more shocking. its so sad when people get that far :( Chances are, she was already gorgoeus before she became anorexic. But anyway, cant wait for more!
4/4/2011 c28 July Tarrant
I really enjoyed this chapter. The extreme reversals in her fortune were, as always, gripping and kept me hanging on your every word. It was nice to see that Erin has somewhat of a heart and Emily innocently asking what Isabella eats made me laugh.
It kind of feels like you skipped too much time. I feel almost like i missed something between the last chapter and this one. Even if you just added a feew paragraph summary about how she and Alex worked things out when/if she told him who the father was or how she handled the weight gain as well as how her sister felt maybe as she grew bigger. i still think you did a fantastic job as always but this chapter did leave me with a few questions. It was still great though and I can't wait to see what happens next :D
I really enjoyed this chapter. The extreme reversals in her fortune were, as always, gripping and kept me hanging on your every word. It was nice to see that Erin has somewhat of a heart and Emily innocently asking what Isabella eats made me laugh.
It kind of feels like you skipped too much time. I feel almost like i missed something between the last chapter and this one. Even if you just added a feew paragraph summary about how she and Alex worked things out when/if she told him who the father was or how she handled the weight gain as well as how her sister felt maybe as she grew bigger. i still think you did a fantastic job as always but this chapter did leave me with a few questions. It was still great though and I can't wait to see what happens next :D
3/28/2011 c6 1Darkness' Embrace
This could only be written by someone with personal experience. Thank you so much for writing this for us.
1Darkness' EmbraceThis could only be written by someone with personal experience. Thank you so much for writing this for us.
3/17/2011 c27 24July Tarrant
I love the way you write. Great chapter. The dream was a great addition. Keep it coming XD
24July TarrantI love the way you write. Great chapter. The dream was a great addition. Keep it coming XD