
6/8/2010 c1 Punslinger
Very good-using the Ferris Wheel as life's metaphor, constantly going up and down and 'round and 'round. Reminds me of Ecclesiastes: "One generation passeth away, and another generation cometh...all is vanity." You managed to pack much meaning into a brief, well-composed poem. "Downs" and "arounds" mars the rhyme scheme, but I won't nitpick over that.
Very good-using the Ferris Wheel as life's metaphor, constantly going up and down and 'round and 'round. Reminds me of Ecclesiastes: "One generation passeth away, and another generation cometh...all is vanity." You managed to pack much meaning into a brief, well-composed poem. "Downs" and "arounds" mars the rhyme scheme, but I won't nitpick over that.
6/8/2010 c1
18Open your eyes Chopstick
I liked how you you compared your feelings with a ferris wheel. That's different; most people compare their life/feelings with a rollercooster ride. :) One thing I notice was the word "screehing." I think it's spelled: "Screeching." You forgot the "c." But again, good job. I liked it.
Doy you mind R&R my poems/stories? Thank you!

I liked how you you compared your feelings with a ferris wheel. That's different; most people compare their life/feelings with a rollercooster ride. :) One thing I notice was the word "screehing." I think it's spelled: "Screeching." You forgot the "c." But again, good job. I liked it.
Doy you mind R&R my poems/stories? Thank you!