for Alkaia and the Pack7/11/2010 c3 
4Love2read765
Lovely chapter(: I like it. Again just watch your grammar. Also ""So," said Shelly. "What do you think of Oxville?" Shelly asked me." You don't need to say Shelly asked me after the question, it confuses the reader. Also it is implied she asked by the question mark. (: Also maybe use other words then "I said, I asked, she said, she asked, etc." because it bores the reader. Keep writing (: Can't wait for the next chapter(:
4Love2read765Lovely chapter(: I like it. Again just watch your grammar. Also ""So," said Shelly. "What do you think of Oxville?" Shelly asked me." You don't need to say Shelly asked me after the question, it confuses the reader. Also it is implied she asked by the question mark. (: Also maybe use other words then "I said, I asked, she said, she asked, etc." because it bores the reader. Keep writing (: Can't wait for the next chapter(:
6/12/2010 c2 Love2read765
Very well done. I adore your writing style(: Just remeber to check for grammer errors and when you do "I this, I that" it stops the flow of the story. Keep up the good work(:
-Love2read765
Very well done. I adore your writing style(: Just remeber to check for grammer errors and when you do "I this, I that" it stops the flow of the story. Keep up the good work(:
-Love2read765
6/12/2010 c1 cookiewolf
woah i liek it=D so far. shes a awesome siren haha i wish i could fly lmfao xD
woah i liek it=D so far. shes a awesome siren haha i wish i could fly lmfao xD
6/11/2010 c1 4Love2read765
Very well done (: One thing just reread before you post, there were a few grammer mistakes. But I really enjoyed reading it and I am excited to read more. (: Keep up the good work(:
-Love2read765
4Love2read765Very well done (: One thing just reread before you post, there were a few grammer mistakes. But I really enjoyed reading it and I am excited to read more. (: Keep up the good work(:
-Love2read765