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6/19/2010 c3 Lizzy
looks like the stories moving right along just great can't wait.

love it.
6/18/2010 c2 Lizzy
What is her name? Very good keep us guessing. This chapter flowed really well and I really enjoyed it. The character voice is even more enjoyable in this chapter I love it. The evil one spoke again, his tongue a slither of spittle and ash. ooh shiver I likey. I loved the chess images in this. what is a lector? maybe lecturers. with nonban did you mean a southern barbarian? I had to google that but it kinda is a nice obscure reference that she would make. Sorry if I don't make seance its 1:35am Gu going to bed now will finish tomorrow.
6/18/2010 c1 Lizzy

Its me. Its great so far it does need a beta to fix a few miss placed or odd words but the story is great. What is Nanban? I was not sure what happened to make her fall in class. I love the angst. Can't wait to read the rest. The character voice is very interesting. It is very awkward and intelligent like the character her self. It fits. Do you have a picture of Barnaby yet. Imaging that's going to be hard to draw.
6/16/2010 c1 15Fenrir Of The West Gate
Very developed character, Kimimura. This story has very few drawbacks that I noticed...

-Though is often spelled "thought"

-It was very confusing trying to figure out who was talking at parts.

Other than that, very good. I'm not an expert in writing so there may be a few faults that I missed but it wouldn't hold you back.

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