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12/30/2012 c5 19Alaeryel
SHOOT ME-STAB ME-PLEASE JUST KILL ME-what else can go so wrong for Shayla? LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS!
12/30/2012 c10 bettyboop1124
I am so glad I found this after you completed it. It would have driven me crazy if I had to wait over a month for an update! I am not a patient person when I find a story I like so much. I will definetly be looking to see what else you have published. Thanks!
12/30/2012 c4 Alaeryel
Another AMAZINGLY BEAUTIFUL CHAPTER! So now Lucian knows and Shayla is still in the dark so now what, my dear, is going to happen now-hmmmm can't wait until I find out! I don't think this is going to go over well with the King altho maybe Mateo won't mind as he didn't really seem to be happy about the marriage-another TANGLED WEB you have WEAVED!
12/30/2012 c3 Alaeryel
12/30/2012 c2 Alaeryel
OMG OMG OMG-this isn't going to go very well is it? The SUSPENSE RIPPED ME-GREAT JOB-and now on to next chapter!
12/30/2012 c1 Alaeryel
MMMMMM HMMMM-very interesting and oh my-he is going to get himself into trouble with Tamara! Again this is another BRILLIANTLY WRITTEN STORY and I like it so far! I am so glad I have many more chapters to go so on to the next one!
12/5/2012 c24 1Cdelancy
this was an amazing story and i can't wait to read more.
11/17/2012 c6 5Arya Yamamoto
Hello, while i like your idea and the direction of the plot i feel that i should point out some places of improvement.
First of all, language and flow. The language you're using is pretty colloquial and while that is perfectly alright, it seems too casual in terms of context, for example when royal family speaks, and when you're talking about things that are general knowledge. The descriptions and diction also seem to be lacking in a sense that your characters do not seem to adhere to the description of themselves when you are introducing them. For example, Madeline who is suppose to be wise, old and blind, she seems to be making a lot of mistakes when dealing with Lucian and Shyla, also in some portions of the chapter you mentioned that she "saw" the wounds on Shyla's body but she is blind...
Also in parts of the story where there is conflict, like the fires and the fight, you're not using words that fit the situation. Like when you used "spoke" when screamed would have shown the urgency etc.
I've also noticed some grammatical and spelling problems. I really hope you can brush them up because it would make the story so much better. And some of these stuff have to be done by the author because it involves plot elements and character development...
I hoped this review helped. I've not read past this chapter so if these issues have been corrected in the later chapters please pardon me. )
7/3/2012 c23 Guest
Where the hell's Natasha? And did Shayla have one insanely large baby, twins, triplets or more? TIE UP YOUR LOOSE ENDS WOMAN!
7/3/2012 c12 Guest
I don't remember if you already specified this or not, as I haven't had the chance to start reading it again until now, but how did they decide that Shayla was going to marry Mateo? I mean, why her? I understand that it helps with the story, but you must've thought it out, right? I mean, if he was looking for his mate, wouldn't he just bring a whole bunch of girls there until he found her? Or did he have to marry immediately and didn't have time to search for her? If that was the case, why hadn't he started searching sooner? Why doesn't he have the time? And if not, what made them choose Shayla and not someone else? But, I'm really enjoying this.
6/4/2012 c1 carleyshake
5/13/2012 c23 Midnightdream5
Oh my god! Sequel? I wanna know what shayla has! :( meany. I def vote sequel lol please! Really enjoyed so well done :)
3/29/2012 c23 11dreamercrys
Loved this story!
1/1/2012 c23 1L.S.Haney
I love this story! You really have a gift of pulling your readers into your stories. Have you considered writing a sequel?
12/5/2011 c24 34KQ
please tell me that there will be a sequal!
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