for A Brand New End12/6/2010 c1 
1StoryMonster
Cool!
I loved the idea, and your writing is awesome.
Anyways thanks for reviewing me, I've just updated!
Goodluck with your writing!
1StoryMonsterCool!
I loved the idea, and your writing is awesome.
Anyways thanks for reviewing me, I've just updated!
Goodluck with your writing!
6/29/2010 c1 99Dreamers-Requiem
I really liked this poem; the nursery rhyme references were slipped in really well, and the overall style was different and unique. And 'the end of a day' is something that I think most people shy away from because it's fairly mundane, but you've added an extra sort of element to it here. Again, lovely poem, great style.
99Dreamers-RequiemI really liked this poem; the nursery rhyme references were slipped in really well, and the overall style was different and unique. And 'the end of a day' is something that I think most people shy away from because it's fairly mundane, but you've added an extra sort of element to it here. Again, lovely poem, great style.
6/27/2010 c1 ZyggyGirl
It was incredibly disorienting, but in a good way. The strange, incoherent lines in parentheses reminded me a bit of Stephen King's writing style.
It was incredibly disorienting, but in a good way. The strange, incoherent lines in parentheses reminded me a bit of Stephen King's writing style.
6/23/2010 c1 9Shuna
Okay, let's see... "Father Jacob," One Word... okay, I didm't find the other refrences. It was a cool poem, Vandy :)
9ShunaOkay, let's see... "Father Jacob," One Word... okay, I didm't find the other refrences. It was a cool poem, Vandy :)
6/21/2010 c1 3Dextra
I think I understood it. I liked the nursery rhymes you put in. I thought that was creative. It's a fun poem. Overall I liked it and you should do more of these poems. :D
3DextraI think I understood it. I liked the nursery rhymes you put in. I thought that was creative. It's a fun poem. Overall I liked it and you should do more of these poems. :D
6/19/2010 c1 i need this account deleted
It's kinda tough for me to understand, but I got a bit of it and liked it!
It's kinda tough for me to understand, but I got a bit of it and liked it!
6/17/2010 c1 23Mandisaurus-rex
Hey Rando! =D
Awesome job! I so agree that the words you had in brackets were like echoing whispers. The way I kind of read it in my head was that there was a narrator reading it, and then there was this eerie voice in the background that would add to the story by whispering. It was a really creative idea =) I like your experimentalism ^.^
23Mandisaurus-rexHey Rando! =D
Awesome job! I so agree that the words you had in brackets were like echoing whispers. The way I kind of read it in my head was that there was a narrator reading it, and then there was this eerie voice in the background that would add to the story by whispering. It was a really creative idea =) I like your experimentalism ^.^
6/16/2010 c1 9Greatheart
I really liked this. You mention that it's an experimental style, but it works. There's a very light, fun tone to this, but the rhythm of the words is lovely. Even reading it in my head, I could feel it. I imagine it would be very nice read aloud.
One question though: What do you mean by writing "cooked" as "coo-ked" in the seventh stanza? It maybe is a reference to something that I'm not familiar with, but I wondered if it was a mistake. Was your intention to split it into two syllables? In which case, the normal convention is to write "cooked" with an accent over the "e." If not and I'm completely off, just ignore me! ^_^
Anyway, very nice!
9GreatheartI really liked this. You mention that it's an experimental style, but it works. There's a very light, fun tone to this, but the rhythm of the words is lovely. Even reading it in my head, I could feel it. I imagine it would be very nice read aloud.
One question though: What do you mean by writing "cooked" as "coo-ked" in the seventh stanza? It maybe is a reference to something that I'm not familiar with, but I wondered if it was a mistake. Was your intention to split it into two syllables? In which case, the normal convention is to write "cooked" with an accent over the "e." If not and I'm completely off, just ignore me! ^_^
Anyway, very nice!
6/15/2010 c1 12lianoid
1/2 Frère Jacque, Frère Jacque/Dormez-vous?
3) To market, to market, to buy a fat hog!"
4) Paddy Cake, paddy cake, Baker's Man, bake/me a bread as fast as you can!
5) "Five, six, seven o'clock, eight o'clock rock!
6) Goodnight, sleep tight
7? - We're eating here tonight,/Yes we're eating here tonight!"
I didn’t guess those ones because they were in italic (well, except for number 7), but because I’ve heard them before; so hopefully I’ll win those bonus points. Unfortunately I don’t know what to say about this piece. This one is just over my head. Ha-ha. It’s good, and I like the light, musical feeling to it, but other than that I don’t know what to say. Sorry! =P
12lianoid1/2 Frère Jacque, Frère Jacque/Dormez-vous?
3) To market, to market, to buy a fat hog!"
4) Paddy Cake, paddy cake, Baker's Man, bake/me a bread as fast as you can!
5) "Five, six, seven o'clock, eight o'clock rock!
6) Goodnight, sleep tight
7? - We're eating here tonight,/Yes we're eating here tonight!"
I didn’t guess those ones because they were in italic (well, except for number 7), but because I’ve heard them before; so hopefully I’ll win those bonus points. Unfortunately I don’t know what to say about this piece. This one is just over my head. Ha-ha. It’s good, and I like the light, musical feeling to it, but other than that I don’t know what to say. Sorry! =P
6/15/2010 c1 11pretty twisted
I love the scatteredness of it and the parantheses that tell things which are kind of like whispers. This type of poetry flowed really gorgeously! I also really liked this:
"Not coo-ked yet?"
It was so unique. Really loved it overall. :D
11pretty twistedI love the scatteredness of it and the parantheses that tell things which are kind of like whispers. This type of poetry flowed really gorgeously! I also really liked this:
"Not coo-ked yet?"
It was so unique. Really loved it overall. :D