for Executioner6/25/2010 c3 
1Defying-Gravity-Girl
Super cool idea. Actually, at first i was like "female executioner: go figure" (because I'm reading a book about a female like...guard. similar, but not.) But I think it could be really cool once you develope it.
1Defying-Gravity-GirlSuper cool idea. Actually, at first i was like "female executioner: go figure" (because I'm reading a book about a female like...guard. similar, but not.) But I think it could be really cool once you develope it.
6/25/2010 c3 ConspiracyAnalyst101
So far I have really enjoyed this. I would prefer if it had more of a back story before the action (just so things make more sense) but I like this whole never knowing what will happen attitude this chapter has :D Please continue this!
If you don't mind me saying you might want to create an explanation chapter after the action to clear things up as obviously a lot has happened. Couple of mistakes but seriously I don't mind, I've seen worse XD
Other than that my only advice would be to have more confidence this is one of the most original plot I have read and I don't say that a lot :)
So far I have really enjoyed this. I would prefer if it had more of a back story before the action (just so things make more sense) but I like this whole never knowing what will happen attitude this chapter has :D Please continue this!
If you don't mind me saying you might want to create an explanation chapter after the action to clear things up as obviously a lot has happened. Couple of mistakes but seriously I don't mind, I've seen worse XD
Other than that my only advice would be to have more confidence this is one of the most original plot I have read and I don't say that a lot :)
6/24/2010 c3 1xX-Kishin-Grace-Xx
Amazing! I love the thought of a woman executioner that has to run away with criminals! This is beautifully written and nicely detailed. I am looking forward to the next chapter.
o0o
1xX-Kishin-Grace-XxAmazing! I love the thought of a woman executioner that has to run away with criminals! This is beautifully written and nicely detailed. I am looking forward to the next chapter.
o0o
6/24/2010 c3 3RenRen Eli
I like girly boys who mock people all around. Yes, spinel is a gemstone that has many diff. colors.
SO many italics, but I like the part where you said "... his robe." How old is Echo anyway?
3RenRen EliI like girly boys who mock people all around. Yes, spinel is a gemstone that has many diff. colors.
SO many italics, but I like the part where you said "... his robe." How old is Echo anyway?
6/24/2010 c3 1SoKowaii
I can't believe they found out she was a woman :O Talk about nerve-wracking chapter and turn in a situation! I think it was the perfect timing though, in order to keep Laverna alive something much more dramatic had to occur, and you nailed it. It was wonderful though. I like Echo though! He sounds cute!
1SoKowaiiI can't believe they found out she was a woman :O Talk about nerve-wracking chapter and turn in a situation! I think it was the perfect timing though, in order to keep Laverna alive something much more dramatic had to occur, and you nailed it. It was wonderful though. I like Echo though! He sounds cute!
6/24/2010 c3 17Lynx Tiger
I like Laverna for now. Nice new detailing on chapter one. I thought you meant the prologue and I was going to tell you it hadn't been edited but then I found out hey, chapter two is really chapter one @_@.
Anyway, I think the story just...went from slow to really fast paced. More details might clear up what just happened. Also, in chapter two, you may want to talk about the kingdom before you start talking about the characters or where the father took her and describe the scenery then. If this is confusing, I'll try to clear it up with a private message ^_^.
Anyway, great job on the story. I can't wait to read more.
Good luck
Lynx
17Lynx TigerI like Laverna for now. Nice new detailing on chapter one. I thought you meant the prologue and I was going to tell you it hadn't been edited but then I found out hey, chapter two is really chapter one @_@.
Anyway, I think the story just...went from slow to really fast paced. More details might clear up what just happened. Also, in chapter two, you may want to talk about the kingdom before you start talking about the characters or where the father took her and describe the scenery then. If this is confusing, I'll try to clear it up with a private message ^_^.
Anyway, great job on the story. I can't wait to read more.
Good luck
Lynx
6/22/2010 c2 3RenRen Eli
Magdelene's called through my bedroom door.
-Magdalene called me from my bedroom door.
Preposterous
-This is my favorite word, thank you! XD
Putting more detail won't hurt, would it?
But despite that, I still think it's funny... or maybe it was just me...
3RenRen EliMagdelene's called through my bedroom door.
-Magdalene called me from my bedroom door.
Preposterous
-This is my favorite word, thank you! XD
Putting more detail won't hurt, would it?
But despite that, I still think it's funny... or maybe it was just me...
6/22/2010 c2 17Lynx Tiger
I wonder what Prince Bleddyn's plan is. That's very interesting to know that they're talking about her. Perhaps they will marry her off, but I don't think that's it XD. The story was intriguing and I longed to read more.
It needs more detailing, but what you have is just fine for a light reading. Also it's hard just going along with a story, the plot never wants to work sometimes. I hope that you don't get writer's block on this story, I like this plot. It's something I read no matter what.
I'm going to alert and favorite this.
Loved it,
Lynx
17Lynx TigerI wonder what Prince Bleddyn's plan is. That's very interesting to know that they're talking about her. Perhaps they will marry her off, but I don't think that's it XD. The story was intriguing and I longed to read more.
It needs more detailing, but what you have is just fine for a light reading. Also it's hard just going along with a story, the plot never wants to work sometimes. I hope that you don't get writer's block on this story, I like this plot. It's something I read no matter what.
I'm going to alert and favorite this.
Loved it,
Lynx
6/22/2010 c2 Ardveson
Wow, that is definitely an original idea. It's really short so far, but really interesting at the same time. Some things could be ironed out, and a bit more detail would be nice, but I can't wait to read more.
Wow, that is definitely an original idea. It's really short so far, but really interesting at the same time. Some things could be ironed out, and a bit more detail would be nice, but I can't wait to read more.
6/20/2010 c1 3RenRen Eli
I like the second and third paragraph... funny... you know, you're right, it is one in the morning on my laptop's time. It's interesting so far... I have so many questions and I want answers so I'm going to read this... just update faster... thank you.
3RenRen EliI like the second and third paragraph... funny... you know, you're right, it is one in the morning on my laptop's time. It's interesting so far... I have so many questions and I want answers so I'm going to read this... just update faster... thank you.
6/20/2010 c1 Anime Cresent Moon
EPIC :D *grinning like a maniac*
mwa hhahaha lol XD
i love it!
u seemed to have dissappeared from this site... :'(
i missed u! :'(
ANYWAY,
i thought the start was epic, and i want to know who shes ran away with, and EVERYTHING lol
write more please! XD
ur hyperactive bri'ish pallyo,
ACM x
EPIC :D *grinning like a maniac*
mwa hhahaha lol XD
i love it!
u seemed to have dissappeared from this site... :'(
i missed u! :'(
ANYWAY,
i thought the start was epic, and i want to know who shes ran away with, and EVERYTHING lol
write more please! XD
ur hyperactive bri'ish pallyo,
ACM x
6/20/2010 c1 1SoKowaii
Oh my... How is it even possible you could think someone would't like this? Are you serious? I am a bit taken back at the moment... This story sounds freaking amazing! My god, I never ever see stories like this! Please, oh please I do hope you continue on with this! The prologue, even though it was quite short, was so intriguing I wish I could have read more! Wow, I've got to say Ii'm stunned, with such an amazing idea... how could anyone not love it? I know I sure do! Thanks so much for posting this!
1SoKowaiiOh my... How is it even possible you could think someone would't like this? Are you serious? I am a bit taken back at the moment... This story sounds freaking amazing! My god, I never ever see stories like this! Please, oh please I do hope you continue on with this! The prologue, even though it was quite short, was so intriguing I wish I could have read more! Wow, I've got to say Ii'm stunned, with such an amazing idea... how could anyone not love it? I know I sure do! Thanks so much for posting this!