for The Funfair6/24/2010 c1 
3Michi Leona
Wow, you wrote this in primary school? Nice.
It's short, but you can still see the setting in your head, and there's a rather solemn feeling at the end.
Just one correction:
"It resembles a wasteland, more than a funfair." The comma's not really needed.
Good job!
3Michi LeonaWow, you wrote this in primary school? Nice.
It's short, but you can still see the setting in your head, and there's a rather solemn feeling at the end.
Just one correction:
"It resembles a wasteland, more than a funfair." The comma's not really needed.
Good job!