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2/26/2011 c1 1StoryMonster
I love the ending, and that the shoes controlled her.

It was a great idea!

I also like Poppy's personality - credit to your writing style, of course!

Really nice! :)

~StoryMonster
2/6/2011 c1 15Dragon-Rider II
I love this story.

Hmm... it's an updated Hans Christian Anderson's 'The Red Shoes'? I think I'll read that later...

As for the actual story, I love it. The shoes control her! (Another reason to loathe shoes! Yay!)

Shoe's fault indeed.

But those red boots DID sound pretty cool.

Anyway, I LOVE Poppy's personality! I get how she feels about the whole thing...
8/13/2010 c1 3naito-kun
for some odd reason fp has an advertisement at the bottom of this page advertising boots. i couldn't stop laughing.

ahem ahem, randomness aside, i like your refreshing take on the story! admittedly i was kind of sad that there wasn't any gore but what was i thinking? haha i liked how you characterised poppy and somehow i felt like i kind of understood how she felt, wanting those boots but being unable to get them. great job! ((:
7/31/2010 c1 6notveryalice
I absolutely adore this story. I have no criticisms whatsoever.

Coincidentally, I happened to be listening to Kate Bush's Red Shoes when I read this.
7/6/2010 c1 34Lee Daniel
I have to admit that I would not have anticipated the prompt leading to a story about boots. But I think you did an excellent job of it. I liked how the boots turned out to be such a bad thing for her to have after she stole the money to get them.
6/28/2010 c1 4lookingwest
I should have been here yesterday :/ Many apologies.

In all honesty. I really liked your beginning, and I'm not sugaring anything. The first part caught my interest and it started with characters that I know you have lurking in other places-it was reminiscent of the kick-ass tinge to a lot of your writings and characters that I haven't read on FP but through DP, ect. I could just picture this girl running, and after having some background in your writings, like Vampire's Rant and Moments of The Hunt (eh, I might have screwed that title up but you know what I mean), it makes me think: wow, she could have anything chasing her at the moment, XD. Getting further into the content though, I liked the description, I liked the opening with the blur of color, and the color "sugar-brown" was really vivid for me, and original, I don't hear that one very often.

I find Poppy's big shoe problem relatable, I remember experiences like that when I was a kid-like wanting a dress that was really cool, but it was for "young women" and thus not in my size, haha. And those are memories I haven't thought about in ages, so I personally think you captured a universally intimate moment.

*Is an Anglophile* Love the accented dialogue. XD

O: Those are Docs? Dude. I got me a pair of white Docs. They are awesome.

Oh, yay, they miraculously fit. Good day.

Alright, so after just reading before this an over 70 word long story about the 1950s and a REALLY boring romance-this is what I needed to get me back into the groove of things. I was wondering what sort of twist you'd use at the end, you can surely put a tinge of Supe into anything, XD. I liked it a lot here because I didn't see that ending coming-seriously and really. I liked this piece overall, and I'm trying to find something to concrit...o.O Hm...

Well breaking it down, I found the pace perfect, I liked that you split it up into different sections because I think it cut to the right scenes at the right time. As far as characters, I liked Poppy's drive and her naivity, also her vanity too, because it kind of brought her down at the end in an odd way I wasn't expecting. Maybe the only thing out of place was involving Jamie's character, and the part with the savings in the biscuit tin. That scene happened a little too quickly, but I think if you had more leeway with the prompt word limit you would have been able to take your time with it more, so I think it was just a consequence of limit.

Otherwise, yeah, I enjoyed this. I found parts of it relatable, the dialogue was consistent and believable, and I feel like it incorporated your strengths too. It fits into your other works well in my opinion. Plus, the take on the prompt wasn't so direct, and I liked that. I'm a more, "take it abstractly" person though, I'm not much for writing it directly into the story. "This was supposed to be a good day" at the end of the first part pretty much summed up the prompt to me using different words. At least that's how I see it :D
6/27/2010 c1 30sophiesix
THe begining of this didn't grab me - it was kinda dense and passive, rather than hooking and fats and stomach squeezingly dread filled as it by rights ought to be, but the rest of the story was awesome. i like the way the end meets up with the begining, making it kinda circular. also teh surprise were great - really well handled. my favourite bits were the relationships though, snd popy's naivety about tehm :) great stuff!
6/26/2010 c1 14J.H. Fitzgerald
I think I own these boots.

This story was really readable, and surprising in places I didn't expect to find surprises. The characters were very real, and I liked that although Poppy was your protagonist, you didn't try to protect her from the reader's judgement by hiding her bad behavior.

This next comment is way nit-picky, because the rest of the story is so good: please oh please modify your "it"s! I trusted you as a storyteller about 95%, but that extra clarification would have won the last 5%.

I'm not entirely sure what happens at the end-beginning (that's what I'm calling the first section). She's running, turns a corner, flies down a hill, and what happens? I don't quite know. That 4th paragraph is muddled. Does she trip going down the hill? "One step away from flying" is what threw me, here. "Step" makes me think she's using her feet, but in the next sentence, she appears to have fallen. Her arms go in front of her face, but one arm goes limp? On arm is skimming pebbles on multiple fronts of houses? And "broken brake-pad" made me think she got hit by a car. By the time the story picked up, I forgot about the mystery car crash, but by the end, I thought, the poor girl, she's going to die. So I went back and re-read the beginning, and THEN I realized you must be referring to her arm as the brake-pad. So, my point is, one little metaphor turned into a big ol' red herring.

I hope that makes sense. But I still love this story.

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