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for Empty room

7/8/2010 c1 7Charming Dice
I like it. I'm not the greatest at reviewing poetry (I consider my own poems "that poetry crap"), but I'd say this was good.

Towards the middle it seemed to lose it's rhythm. Right between "Reaching for" and "Vanished." Don't know if that was intentional or not, but it felt almost like the closing lines, making it seem awkward when you continued on.

Regardless, I thought it was good.
7/2/2010 c1 Punslinger
This creates a vivid mental image that draws strong emotional responses. Many of us have known the empty feeling of loss when leaving familiar surroundings, and before turning to the excitement of new experiences. Well done, except for one small mistake: "Tracks...Is brushed out."
7/2/2010 c1 Autumn-Loxley
Sounds interesting...why are they removing all evidence of someone having inhabited that room? Maybe it's something mundane like a family moving, or maybe it's something sad like the death of a family member...either way this was certainly thought-provoking.

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