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for Cat and Mouse

7/6/2010 c1 I'm.Running.Out.Of.Ideas
Life is indeed a game of cat and mouse. I like this one, though I had a problem with the second stanza. It interrupts the flow of the poem and usually this is caused by doubles of words in close proximity. Try replacing the first "play" with something else, like maybe:

"You are predator or prey"

Even just by doing that, the flow is restored.

I apologize if I am over stepping my boundaries.
7/3/2010 c1 2FixitfelixJRJRJR
Instantly thought of the song Cat and Mouse by Red Jumpsuit Apparatus.

I had a problem with the stanza

"You play as predator or prey,

In the game of life you play,"

To me, it interrupted the flow that the poem had. Mentioning the word 'Play" twice is what I believe caused it. Other then that the vocabulary set a nice mental setting. I liked it.


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