7/4/2010 c1 18Open your eyes Chopstick
Hey, so thought i'll do some reviewing. :) Okay, so i'm going to do the icky stuff first, and then the good things. Ready?

Some constructive critism:

"All she found was grief and anger and disbelief at the unfairness of it all she tried to control herself but couldn't,"-this is a winding sentence. Perhaps put a period after "all"

"then proceeded to go to the cottage she'd shared with her mother all these years."-"those years."

"She must stay strong and keep up their lives' work."-"lifes' work"...i think

"First, she had to get all this sold." - i think this would have a better impact if this sentence started a new paragraph

"Once she almost dozed off, but she caught herself in time and made sure that she wouldn't doze off again. If she dozed off in the middle of the forest,"-you used the word "doze" alot. how about switching it up abit?

"She decided that she'd return home if he didn't show up before dusk, she would head home."- take away the second part. you pretty much did a repeat.

Okay, well, enough with the icky things. Let's get to the good stuff. I liked the characters. Right away I was able to get a good feel on them. I also liked the names. I don't know...strange names turn me off a bit since they r so hard to remember, so when you used "Kaitlyn" I was happy. :)Also, you did a good job on staying in past tense. It's really hard to do that (I know). The flow of the story was nice too. It lead one thing to another without jumping around.

All in all, I was pleased with this story. Again, good job.