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12/7/2010 c1 5K. Molle
Hey there,

I am currently off an a review rampage this morning and I thought I would offer a little love to your piece. You chose to use a short structured line which worked really well and actually tugged at my heart strings while I was reading. I was pushed through a change that happened as your poem progressed and I thought that method really worked. It had me going, and I'm sure if I were the type of person who could cry I would certainly need a big box of kleenex after this piece right from the heart. I only noticed a couple things that I myself would change in this.

Letting the wind replace

My already empty existence

I would simply take out the unneeded word 'alrady', to me that adds a deeper feeling in those two lines.

Stretched towards something

Not even knowing what it was

My other beef was these two lines, they didn't really shape into the poem for me, and I'm not even a hundred percent sure what would help make them flow.

I hope these few words helped and that you keep writing.

K. Molle
7/24/2010 c1 5Victoria Stokes
wonderfu. summed up searching for yourself really well. i liked it, good job :)
7/9/2010 c1 26Mirabella
Lovely. I like the format too, it works for the thoughts expressed here. :)
7/7/2010 c1 Punslinger
This is an intriguing experiment in introspective poetry. We all come to the point at least once in our lives when we have to step back and take a long, honest searching look at ourselves. You did it very well with few words.
7/7/2010 c1 4HighOnBrokenWings
I like it. It sounds like life. Very nice piece :D

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