for Cupid's Granddaughter8/12/2012 c6 
13youngin-matomon
I'm sorry, this is frustratingly boring. If your writing was a bit more mature I would have stuck with it but premature writing AND a premature plot is a little too much. You seem to have all the pet peeves that I absolutely despise: no description, immature characters, weird dialogue, improper knowledge (although this one isn't your fault, really. It's a really idiotic peeve of mine, to not like other people not knowing as much as me about Greek and Roman mythology and stuff).
So I'm afraid I'm gonna stop reading now. Good luck with your other novels!
13youngin-matomonI'm sorry, this is frustratingly boring. If your writing was a bit more mature I would have stuck with it but premature writing AND a premature plot is a little too much. You seem to have all the pet peeves that I absolutely despise: no description, immature characters, weird dialogue, improper knowledge (although this one isn't your fault, really. It's a really idiotic peeve of mine, to not like other people not knowing as much as me about Greek and Roman mythology and stuff).
So I'm afraid I'm gonna stop reading now. Good luck with your other novels!
8/12/2012 c4 youngin-matomon
Ack. Your Greek mythology is correct but geez, what is with the angel descriptions? Their mythology and legends do NOT go that way at all. And you sound like a kid writing. For one thing, angels can't die - not because they're technically dead - but because they're ANGELS. Angels are immortal. ALWAYS. No angel dies. Not even fallen ones.
Technically fallen angels become demons - and not the rawr rawr slash kill type either - but some legends do say that fallen angels are just confined to Earth. Since Earth isn't their natural homes, their powers are extremely restricted. Rather, when angels are in Heaven, they can do really cool shit. And that emotion thing is really weird. Makes no sense.
It's clear you've made most of this stuff up, but I would have liked some actual mythology. The story has enormous potential: you could fledge it out with so much description about the angels and Greek mythology. It would make an interesting read.
Also, your story-telling of the Greek myth about Psyche and Cupid was really bland. It was like Peyton was just rattling words off. Your characters don't seem to have much depth, especially since they're such huge people. I mean come on: Cupid's granddaughter and a fallen angel? They should be so much more. Also, WHY don't they know about each other? As in, why do they have to ask each other what's it like to be an angel or living in Olympia.
Lastly, but not least, you do realize that these two religion (I guess you could call it that, but I'm not sure) don't match up? Like, there is no Heaven when Greek gods are concerned. There is only Elysses (did I spell that right?) and the gardens of immortals blah blah in the Underworld. I'm sure you could have mixed the two beliefs up, but you did a poor job.
Sorry for all the bashing, but wrongs are all I see at the moment.
Ack. Your Greek mythology is correct but geez, what is with the angel descriptions? Their mythology and legends do NOT go that way at all. And you sound like a kid writing. For one thing, angels can't die - not because they're technically dead - but because they're ANGELS. Angels are immortal. ALWAYS. No angel dies. Not even fallen ones.
Technically fallen angels become demons - and not the rawr rawr slash kill type either - but some legends do say that fallen angels are just confined to Earth. Since Earth isn't their natural homes, their powers are extremely restricted. Rather, when angels are in Heaven, they can do really cool shit. And that emotion thing is really weird. Makes no sense.
It's clear you've made most of this stuff up, but I would have liked some actual mythology. The story has enormous potential: you could fledge it out with so much description about the angels and Greek mythology. It would make an interesting read.
Also, your story-telling of the Greek myth about Psyche and Cupid was really bland. It was like Peyton was just rattling words off. Your characters don't seem to have much depth, especially since they're such huge people. I mean come on: Cupid's granddaughter and a fallen angel? They should be so much more. Also, WHY don't they know about each other? As in, why do they have to ask each other what's it like to be an angel or living in Olympia.
Lastly, but not least, you do realize that these two religion (I guess you could call it that, but I'm not sure) don't match up? Like, there is no Heaven when Greek gods are concerned. There is only Elysses (did I spell that right?) and the gardens of immortals blah blah in the Underworld. I'm sure you could have mixed the two beliefs up, but you did a poor job.
Sorry for all the bashing, but wrongs are all I see at the moment.
8/12/2012 c3 youngin-matomon
This is really unsatisfying. There's not enough description, the characters are really immature and talk weird, it's mostly just one or two-liners and the story practically CREEPS. I hope it'll get better, but I'm thinking that this is a total waste of my time.
This is really unsatisfying. There's not enough description, the characters are really immature and talk weird, it's mostly just one or two-liners and the story practically CREEPS. I hope it'll get better, but I'm thinking that this is a total waste of my time.
8/2/2012 c32 mareecee
I have just finished reading your story and am sorry not to have commented earlier... but you should take it as a complement to how great this story is!
It is great to find a story that is unique and so well researched and written. It is captivating from beginning to end.
I shall definitely keep an eye out for anymore stories you write.
I have just finished reading your story and am sorry not to have commented earlier... but you should take it as a complement to how great this story is!
It is great to find a story that is unique and so well researched and written. It is captivating from beginning to end.
I shall definitely keep an eye out for anymore stories you write.
7/29/2012 c32 7Le Tigre
Hey this story has recently been re-reviewed for the website A Drop of Romeo!
One thing that has always struck me about this story is its originality and how well researched it is. GermanSam has cleverly created an Olympia that is both true to its Greek roots and functions like a modern city. The main character Peyton is strong minded and doesn't like working for her grandfather, Cupid (Eros in Greek mythology) but he wants to retire. As a test she must find the true love of a fallen angel called Nate, which will take longer than a match between mortals where the spark is apparent immediately.
Despite their immortal status, Peyton and Nate are both realistically flawed, which allows you to connect to them. Both are very stubborn and frequently butt heads as the friendship develops between them, yet Peyton can be frustrating with her fear to become too close to him.
Eros frequently appears, with his own schemes for everyone, and plenty of tricks up his sleeve.
The story itself is well paced and GermanSam's writing is excellent, interjected with moments of humour that make this a thoroughly enjoyable read.
7Le TigreHey this story has recently been re-reviewed for the website A Drop of Romeo!
One thing that has always struck me about this story is its originality and how well researched it is. GermanSam has cleverly created an Olympia that is both true to its Greek roots and functions like a modern city. The main character Peyton is strong minded and doesn't like working for her grandfather, Cupid (Eros in Greek mythology) but he wants to retire. As a test she must find the true love of a fallen angel called Nate, which will take longer than a match between mortals where the spark is apparent immediately.
Despite their immortal status, Peyton and Nate are both realistically flawed, which allows you to connect to them. Both are very stubborn and frequently butt heads as the friendship develops between them, yet Peyton can be frustrating with her fear to become too close to him.
Eros frequently appears, with his own schemes for everyone, and plenty of tricks up his sleeve.
The story itself is well paced and GermanSam's writing is excellent, interjected with moments of humour that make this a thoroughly enjoyable read.
7/15/2012 c1 Daisy sanders
This sounds fucking awesome!
This sounds fucking awesome!
6/24/2012 c32 OPatron
oh my juicebox! this is incredible! i tend to shy away from cupid stories, but im really glad i read yours! amazing!
oh my juicebox! this is incredible! i tend to shy away from cupid stories, but im really glad i read yours! amazing!
6/22/2012 c32 ed
This is definitely one of the best stories in fp! I love it! I love the characters ugh they are perfect this time, I have been very picky when I want to read something for example, I tend to read stories that based in high school as I want to feel related to the characters and the , when I read through this story, I found it really might be the first story that is not based in high school I've ever read, I know I'm lame for opening my mind though I'm sure it's going to expand my taste in reading stories and not just normal high school romance cliche..
Anyway, it's a perfect story and you've done a great job!
This is definitely one of the best stories in fp! I love it! I love the characters ugh they are perfect this time, I have been very picky when I want to read something for example, I tend to read stories that based in high school as I want to feel related to the characters and the , when I read through this story, I found it really might be the first story that is not based in high school I've ever read, I know I'm lame for opening my mind though I'm sure it's going to expand my taste in reading stories and not just normal high school romance cliche..
Anyway, it's a perfect story and you've done a great job!
6/20/2012 c32 9XiaoChuChu
I really loved this one! (I was planning to comment several months ago, but I just didn't have time)
The story, the characters, everything. Well written, funny, cute, romantic and origianl. Loved it alot :)
9XiaoChuChuI really loved this one! (I was planning to comment several months ago, but I just didn't have time)
The story, the characters, everything. Well written, funny, cute, romantic and origianl. Loved it alot :)
4/15/2012 c32 The Quotidian Life
Loved the story. It was well written, with a great story line. Your idea was well thought out and your grammar was great, which is something that I am really fussy over. Thanks for giving us this story.
Loved the story. It was well written, with a great story line. Your idea was well thought out and your grammar was great, which is something that I am really fussy over. Thanks for giving us this story.
4/14/2012 c1 The Quotidian Life
It's an interesting and innovative concept. I like the idea of mixing the ancient and modern eras. Can't wait to see what's up ahead.
It's an interesting and innovative concept. I like the idea of mixing the ancient and modern eras. Can't wait to see what's up ahead.
3/13/2012 c33 7J.J. LaRoux
This was an amazing story as well! I wish I had have read it first, but still, now I understand some of the stuff the characters said in your other story...
7J.J. LaRouxThis was an amazing story as well! I wish I had have read it first, but still, now I understand some of the stuff the characters said in your other story...
2/18/2012 c32 10Sabreal
What a fab ab story :) This isn't the first time I've read a "Cupid" (or one of his relatives story) but each one, seems so well written! With their own gags, and own romances...this is certainly a topic I like!
Thank you for writing this. Will certainly go on my favs! Keep writing brilliant stories like this :)
(There were a few typos, but I won't mention them :D)
10SabrealWhat a fab ab story :) This isn't the first time I've read a "Cupid" (or one of his relatives story) but each one, seems so well written! With their own gags, and own romances...this is certainly a topic I like!
Thank you for writing this. Will certainly go on my favs! Keep writing brilliant stories like this :)
(There were a few typos, but I won't mention them :D)